Wedding Crashers Quotes (Page 4)
John Beckwith: [to a group of children at a wedding] Love doesn't exist, that's what I'm trying to tell you guys. And I'm not picking on love, 'cause I don't think friendship exists either. • Rating: 9.0 / 10 • Permalink
Jeremy Grey: Do you know what that awareness is, Gloria?
Gloria Cleary: What?
Jeremy Grey: That we're all one. That seperateness is an illusion, and that I'm one with everyone - with the Prime Minister of England, and my cousin Harry, you and me, the fat kid from 'What's Happening,' the Olsen twins, Natalie Portman, the guy who wrote 'Catcher in the Rye,' Nat King Cole, Carrot Top, Jay-Z, Weird Al Yankovic, Harry Potter, if he existed, the whore on the street corner, your mother. We're all one.
• Rating: 8.4 / 10 • Permalink
John Beckwith: What are you doing? It's a game of touch football, every time I look over you're on your ass again.
• Rating: 8.0 / 10 • Permalink
Father O'Neil: And now for our second reading I'd like to ask the bride's sister Gloria up to the lectern.
John Beckwith: 20 bucks First Corinthians.
Jeremy Grey: Double or nothing Colossians 3:12.
Gloria Cleary: And now a reading from Paul's first letter to the Corinthians.
• Rating: 8.0 / 10 • Permalink
John Beckwith: I just wanted to say how much I appreciated your position paper on economic expansion in Micronesia.
Secretary Cleary: You've read my position paper?
John Beckwith: I read it while I was sailing my boat to Bermuda.
Secretary Cleary: A sailor? Sit down. You didn't happen to catch my speech on the Paraguayan debt and money supply issue did you?
John Beckwith: Are you kidding me? I thought it was great! Your argument for the inverse ratio of capitalization to debt was genius. Now if we could only get congress not to be so short sighted.
Secretary Cleary: Yes! Well put. Short sighted. John, how about we go out on the deck and light up a couple of cigars?
John Beckwith: Stogies?
Secretary Cleary: Yeah.
John Beckwith: Why not?
• Rating: 8.0 / 10 • Permalink
John Beckwith: You better lock it up.
Jeremy Grey: No, you lock it up!
John Beckwith: You lock it up!
Jeremy Grey: You lock it up!
John Beckwith: You lock it up!
Jeremy Grey: Lock it up!
• Rating: 8.0 / 10 • Permalink
Jeremy Grey: I'm getting married.
John Beckwith: Get out!
[points at the door]
Jeremy Grey: But you just said you were happy...
John Beckwith: I'm hanging by a thread. I'm reading don't-kill-myself books.
Jeremy Grey: You said the book wasn't yours.
John Beckwith: Don't worry about the book. It's not mine. But I glanced at it.
Jeremy Grey: John...
John Beckwith: Kindly leave!
Jeremy Grey: But...
John Beckwith: Kindly leave!
• Rating: 7.3 / 10 • Permalink
Claire Cleary: Are you OK?
John Beckwith: Yeah, I'm just swinging the jib for your dad, starboard.
Claire Cleary: But starboard's *this* way.
John Beckwith: That's right. What am I thinking? I'm used to sailing down under with the kiwis so everything's backwards and the toilets when you flush them, the water spins the opposite way. Really freaks you out the first time you see it.
• Rating: 4.0 / 10 • Permalink
John Beckwith: "I never thought my sister would meet someone who cared about what other people thought as much as she did until I met Craig?"
Claire Cleary: Yes, it's funny. It's funny because it's true.
John Beckwith: I know, but the funny because it's true bit only works if the truth is a very small thing like "everyone knows Jennifer likes to shop, ha ha ha". Honestly, I think you're better off going for something from the heart.
Claire Cleary: I think people are going to love this.
John Beckwith: I think you're going to hear crickets.
Claire Cleary: No.
John Beckwith: Sounds of silence.
Claire Cleary: Uh uh.
John Beckwith: Ok, meet me at the back of the room, I'll be the guy waiting to say I told you so.
• Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Gloria Cleary: You're really talented.
Jeremy Grey: I can go on all day. Last week I made, to scale, a balloon model of Wrigley Field. I don't have anywhere to put it.
Gloria Cleary: I'll have a sports car.
Jeremy Grey: How about a dance?
Gloria Cleary: That's what I really wanted.
• Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Total Quotes: 41