Van Wilder Quotes
A collection of the best quotes from Van Wilder by your favorite characters including Van Wilder, Gwen Pearson and Taj Mahal Badalandabad.
Taj: In my country, a woman's mastery of her gastronomical releases is considered the ultimate aphrodisiac! • Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink
Van Wilder: Are you stalking me? Because that would be super.
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Van Wilder: But you know what I've learned in my seven years here at Coolidge... Timmy? I've learned that you can't treat every situation as a life-and-death matter because you'll die a lot of times. Write that down.
Suicidal Freshman: I don't have a pen.
Van Wilder: Well remember that then. And you know something, Timmy? I think you've got the balls to make it here. Call me nuts, but I believe in you.
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Gwen: [Mouths] What are you doing here?
Van Wilder: [Mouths] I don't know!
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Van Wilder: Sometimes you gotta let your heart lead you... even if you know its someplace you know you're not supposed to be.
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Van Wilder: All you need is scented candles, massage oil, and Barry White. Write that down.
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Van Wilder: Worrying is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do, but it doesn't get you anywhere.
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Van Wilder: The first day of spring semester. A time to say goodbye to the parents once again, and say hello to a few new student bodies.
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Taj: I would like very much to spend my remaining days here as your assistant.
Van Wilder: Okay, we're just going do a little word association. Say the first thing that comes to your mind. Milk.
Taj: Tit! Oh, mommy. Most Indians would say "cow" because they are sacred, but I hear "milk," I think giant jugs. You see, I cannot go home a virgin. I came here to study the great American art of muff diving. To smack clam, munch rug, dine at just one American pink taco stand! You know, I wanted to, how is it, park the porpoise. You know? I want to take it through the car wash, baby. And get it waxed. I want to wax it. Wax it! You know, and air dry. Air dry that s**t, yeah! And I would like to be your assistant very much, Mr. Van Wilder.
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Vance Wilder, Sr.: Sweet Joesph, my son's a fairy.
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Total Quotes: 43