Walter Sobchak: Whereas what we have here? A bunch of fig-eaters wearing towels on their heads, trying to find reverse in a Soviet tank. This is not a worthy adversary. • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
The Dude: That's a great plan, Walter. That's f**kin' ingenious, if I understand it correctly. It's a Swiss f**kin' watch.
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The Dude: F**k sympathy! I don't need your f**kin' sympathy, man, I need my f**king johnson!
Donny: What do you need that for, Dude?
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The Dude: God damn you Walter! You f**kin' asshole! Everything's a f**kin' travesty with you, man! And what was all that s**t about Vietnam? What the FUCK, has anything got to do with Vietnam? What the f**k are you talking about?
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Walter Sobchak: I'm saying, I see what you're getting at, Dude, he kept the money. My point is, here we are, it's shabbas, the sabbath, which I'm allowed to break only if it's a matter of life or death...
The Dude: Will you come off it, Walter? You're not even f**king Jewish, man.
Walter Sobchak: What the f**k are you talkin' about?
The Dude: Man, you're f**king Polish Catholic...
Walter Sobchak: What the f**k are you talking about? I converted when I married Cynthia! Come on, Dude!
The Dude: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah...
Walter Sobchak: And you know this!
The Dude: Yeah, and five f**king years ago you were divorced.
Walter Sobchak: So what are you saying? When you get divorced you turn in your library card? You get a new license? You stop being Jewish?
The Dude: It's all a part of your sick Cynthia thing, man. Taking care of her f**king dog. Going to her f**king synagogue. You're living in the f**king past.
Walter Sobchak: Three thousand years of beautiful tradition, from Moses to Sandy Koufax. You're goddamn right I'm living in the f**king past!
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The Dude: Also, my rug was stolen.
Cop: The rug was in the car?
The Dude: No. It was here.
Cop: [eager] Oh, separate incidents.
Maude Lebowski: [on answering machine] Jeffrey, this is Maude Lebowski. I need to see you. I'm the one who took your rug.
Cop: Well. I guess we can close the books on that one.
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Nihilist: I f**ks you in the ass, I f**ks you in the ass, I f**ks you, I f**ks you, I f**ks you, I f**ks...
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The Dude: These are, uh...
Brandt: Oh, those are Mr Lebowski's children, so to speak.
The Dude: Different mothers, huh?
Brandt: No.
The Dude: Racially he's pretty cool?
Brandt: [laughs] They're not literally his children. They're the Little Lebowski Urban Achievers - inner city children of promise but without the necessary means for a - necessary means for a higher education. So Mr Lebowski is committed to sending all of them to college.
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Treehorn Thug: [holding up bowling ball] What the f**k is this?
The Dude: Obviously you're not a golfer.
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The Dude: Walter, what is the point? Look, we all know who is at fault here, what the f**k are you talking about?
Walter Sobchak: Huh? No, what the f**k are you... I'm not... We're talking about unchecked aggression here, dude.
Donny: What the f**k is he talking about?
The Dude: My rug.
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Total Quotes: 74
