The 40 Year Old Virgin Quotes (Page 2)
Cal: "Gandhi" baked is good. I always feel bad when I watch it baked because I get really hungry and I'm eating a lot and poor Gandhi is starving his ass off. • Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink
Haziz: Do you know how I know you're gay? Because you are holding each other ever so gently.
• Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink
Cal: I touched a guy's balls once in Hebrew School.
• Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink
Cal: That's a good looking grandma! My grandma looks like Jack Palance.
Andy Stitzer: Well, she's no Jack Palance.
Cal: No. If Jack Palance looked like that lady I would want to f**k Jack Palance right now.
• Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink
Jay: From now on, your d**k is my d**k. I'm gonna get you laid.
• Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink
Andy Stitzer: I dated this girl for a while... she was really a... nasty freak. She just loved to... get down with... sex all the time. It was like... anytime of day... she was like, "Yeah, let's go! I'm so nasty!" And I'd be nailing her and she'd be like, "Oh, you're nailing me! cool!"
• Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink
Andy Stitzer: I'm a virgin. I always have been.
• Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink
David: Hey, Paula.
Paula: Yeah?
David: I gotta tell you something. I'm really excited about it. Uh, for the first time, today, I woke up, I came to the store, and I - I feel confident to say to you that if you don't take this Michael McDonald DVD - that you've been playing for two years straight - off, I'm going to kill everyone in the store and put a bullet in my brain!
Paula: David, what do you suggest we play?
David: I don't care. Anything! I would rather - I would rather watch "Beautician And The Beast". I would rather listen to Fran Drescher for eight hours than have to listen to Michael McDonald. Nothin' against him, but if I hear "Yah Mo B There" one more time, I'm going to Yah Mo Burn This Place To The Ground.
• Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink
Andy Stitzer: I hope you have a big trunk... because I'm puttin' my bike in it.
• Rating: 9.8 / 10 • Permalink
Cal: You know what's a fun game? Take 3 Excedrin PM's and see if you can whack off before you fall asleep. You always win, that's the best part about the game.
• Rating: 9.8 / 10 • Permalink
Total Quotes: 40