Officer Slater: I arrested a man-lady who was legally named Phuck. • Rating: 6.0 / 10 • Permalink
Seth: You dropped your purse, ma'am. Would you like me to help you with your shopping?
Seth: That would be lovely! Do you want me to buy you alcohol?
Seth: That would be lovely!
Old Lady: [at the cash register, after buying alcohol]
Seth: Enjoy your remaining years!
Seth: Enjoy f**king Jules!
Seth: I will!
• Rating: 6.0 / 10 • Permalink
Fogell: Well, when I got there it was either this or Muhammad.
Evan: Why would you even pick Muhammad.
Fogell: For your information, Muhammad is the most commonly used name on the planet.
Evan: Fogell, have you ever even met anyone named Muhammad?
Fogell: Have you ever met anyone named McLovin?
Seth: NO! That's why it's a stupid, made-up, f**king fairy tale name!
• Rating: 4.7 / 10 • Permalink
Officer Michaels: Ah, McLovin, McLovin, McLovin, McLovin.
• Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Evan: It's not just making them smaller. They completely reshaped them. They make them more supple, symmetrical.
Seth: I gotta catch a glimpse of these warlocks. Let's make a move.
• Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Evan: You could always subscribe to a site like Perfect Ten. I mean that could be anything, it could be a bowling site.
Seth: Yeah, but the problem is that they don't actually show the d**k going in the p***y. Have you ever seen a p***y by itself?
Evan: No.
Seth: I dunno, it's not for me.
• Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Seth: Yeah, but it doesn't actually show d**k going in which is a huge concern.
Evan: I didn't realize that.
• Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Fogell: Can we shoot at it?
Officer Slater: I don't know...
[pause]
Officer Slater: Can you?
• Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Evan: Yeah chicks go nuts for that... the male camel toe.
Seth: Yea yea! The camel tail.
• Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Liquor Store Clerk: Is there a problem here sir?
Fogell: [shakes head] No.
Liquor Store Clerk: [looks down at the spilled beer on the floor] Sir, did you do this?
Fogell: No, no I didn't and you should really clean this up, someone could really hurt themselves
[walks away]
Liquor Store Clerk: [looks down at the floor and shakes his head a little] F**k my life
• Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Total Quotes: 65
