Becca: I'm so wet right now.Evan: Yeah... they said that would happen in Health Class.
• Rating: 9.6 / 10 • Permalink
Officer Slater: Ethnically, was he like uh... uh... African?
Liquor Store Woman: Was he African? No, he was like you.
Officer Michaels: He's Jewish... so we have an African Jew wearing a hoodie.
• Rating: 9.4 / 10 • Permalink
Seth: Look at those nipples.
Evan: They're like little baby toes. It's just not fair that they get to flaunt that stuff, you know... and like, I have to hide every erection I get.
• Rating: 9.3 / 10 • Permalink
Seth: Nobody has gotten a B.J. in cargo shorts since Vietnam!
• Rating: 8.9 / 10 • Permalink
Seth: I just wanna go to the rooftops and scream, "I love my best friend, Evan."
• Rating: 8.7 / 10 • Permalink
Evan: I heard she got breast reduction surgery.
Seth: Breast Reduction Surgery? That's like slapping God across the face for giving you a beautiful gift.
Evan: She had back-problems, man.
• Rating: 8.0 / 10 • Permalink
Evan: Calm down, calm down. She likes you. She wants to suck on your penis. That's a good thing.
• Rating: 8.0 / 10 • Permalink
Seth: I drew d**ks.
Evan: Like a man d**k?
Seth: Yes, like a man d**k.
Evan: That's supergay.
• Rating: 8.0 / 10 • Permalink
Seth: [talking to Home Ec. Teacher] You know, Home Ec. is a joke. Everyone takes it to just get an A. Not to disgrace your profession or anything. There's three weeks left in school, just give me a f**king break! I'm sorry for cursing.
• Rating: 7.6 / 10 • Permalink
Officer Michaels: McLovin?
Officer Slater: [pause] That's such a cool name.
Officer Michaels: I know. It sounds like a sexy hamburger.
• Rating: 6.9 / 10 • Permalink
Total Quotes: 65
