South Park: Bigger Longer & Uncut Quotes
A collection of the best quotes from South Park: Bigger Longer & Uncut by your favorite characters including Eric Cartman, Stan Marsh and Kyle Broflovski.
Cartman: Don't call me fat, you f**king Jew!Mr. Garrison: Eric, did you just say the F-word?
Cartman: Jew?
Kyle: No, he's talking about "f**k". You can't say "f**k" in school, you f**king fat ass!
• Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink
Cartman: Mom? If you were in a German "scheisse" video, you... you'd tell me, right?
[short pause]
Mrs. Cartman: Sure, hon.
• Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink
Stan: We're "La Resistance," we want to save Terrance and Phillip and stop the war and stuff.
The Mole: I can't help you. I'm grounded in my room for the next three days.
Kyle: So are we. Our parents think we're home right now.
Stan: Why are you grounded?
The Mole: Why? Because God hates me, that's why. He has made my life miserable. So I call him a c**k-sucking asshole, and I get grounded.
• Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink
Eric Cartman: More people will come if they think we have punch and pie.
Kyle: [typing] Punch and pie.
• Rating: 9.7 / 10 • Permalink
Mr. Garrison: ...I'm Sorry Wendy, but I don't trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesn't die.
• Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Satan: Is sex the only thing that matters to you?
Saddam Hussein: I love you.
• Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Satan: How come you always want to make love to me from behind? Is it because you want to pretend I'm somebody else?
Saddam Hussein: Satan, your ass is gigantic and red. Who am I going to pretend you are, Liza Minelli?
• Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Terrence: You're such a pig-f**ker, Phillip!
Phillip: Terrance, why would you call me a pig-f**ker?
Terrence: Well, let's see. First of all, you f**k pigs.
Phillip: Oh yeah!
• Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Cartman: I bet him he couldn't do it. I bet him a hundred dollars.
Kyle: It's not your fault, Cartman.
Cartman: Dude, I know, I'm just f**kin' stoked I don't have to pay him.
Kyle: Oh, that's real nice! He was your friend, you fat f**k!
• Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Terrence: Well, Phillip, I hope you've learned something from this whole experience.
Phillip: I sure have, Terrance. I've learned that you are a boner-biting, d**k-fart, f**k face.
Terrence: [they laugh] Wanna see the northern lights?
[strikes a match, farts, burns up]
Phillip: Ha ha ha. You burned yourself to death by lighting your fart. Ha ha ha.
Terrence: I sure did, Philip!
• Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Total Quotes: 49