Gingerbread Man: All right. Do you know... the muffin man?Lord Farquaad: The muffin man?
Gingerbread Man: The muffin man.
Lord Farquaad: Yes, I know the muffin man. Who lives on Drury Lane?
Gingerbread Man: She's married to the muffin man...
Lord Farquaad: The muffin man?
Gingerbread Man: The muffin man.
Lord Farquaad: She's married to the muffin man.
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Lord Farquaad: Evening. Mirror, mirror, on the wall / Is this not the most perfect kingdom of them all?
Magic Mirror: Well, technically, you're not a king.
Lord Farquaad: Thelonius?
Magic Mirror: [nervous] Er, I mean you're not a king yet.
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Magic Mirror: [about Snow White] Although she lives with seven other men, she's actually not easy.
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Shrek: [looking at the huge castle] Do you think he's maybe compensating for something?
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Shrek: All right, you're going the right way for a smack bottom.
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Donkey: I just know, before this is over, I'm gonna need a whole lot of serious therapy. Look at my eye twitchin'.
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Donkey: Okay, let me get this straight: you gonna go fight a dragon and rescue a princess just so Farquaad'll give you back your swamp, which you only don't have 'cos he filled it full of freaks in the first place, is that about right?
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Shrek: Ogres are like onions.
Donkey: They stink?
Shrek: Yes. No.
Donkey: Oh, they make you cry.
Shrek: No.
Donkey: Oh, you leave em out in the sun, they get all brown, start sproutin' little white hairs.
Shrek: NO. Layers. Onions have layers. Ogres have layers. Onions have layers. You get it? We both have layers.
Donkey: Oh, you both have layers. Oh. You know, not everybody like onions.
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Donkey: Man, you gotta warn somebody before you crack one like that. My mouth was open and everything.
Shrek: Donkey, if that was me, you'd be dead. That's brimstone... we must be getting close
Donkey: Yeah, right, brimstone, don't be talking about no brimstone. I know what I smelt and it wasn't no brimstone and it didn't come off no stone neither.
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Donkey: Shrek, you know how ogres have layers?
Shrek: Oh, aye?
Donkey: Well, donkeys don't have no layers. We wear our fear right there on our sleeves.
Shrek: But Donkey, donkeys don't wear sleeves.
Donkey: You know what I mean.
Shrek: You can't tell me you're afraid of heights?
Donkey: No, I'm just uncomfortable about being on a rickety bridge, over a boiling lake of lava.
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Total Quotes: 45
