A collection of the best quotes from Semi-Pro by your favorite characters including Jackie Moon, Dick Pepperfield and Clarence 'Coffee' Black.
Jackie Moon: Everybody panic! If you have a small child, use it as a shield! They love tender meat.• Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink
Jackie Moon: If you see an opposum, kill it. It’s not a pet.
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Jackie Moon: Damnit, Vakidis! Learn f**king English!
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Lynn: You think I've forgotten that you cheated on me twice?
Monix: I only cheated on you once. There just had to be two women.
• Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Dick Pepperfield: Lou, would you mind putting out that cigarette?
Lou Redwood: No. I like to smoke when I drink.
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Dick Pepperfield: How did you learn to play basketball?
Jackie Moon: I saw it on TV a couple times, I thought I could do that.
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Jackie Moon: I , Jackie Moon, will wrestle a bear.
• Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Jackie Moon: I am great at free throws. Seriously, free throws are, like, my best thing.
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Ed Monix: I've never been traded for a washing machine before. Until now.
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Dick Pepperfield: I am here with owner/player/coach, Jackie Moon, and two of the Flint Tropics Ball girls. Hello ladies.
Jackie Moon: You are a little tongue tied now aren't ya Dick?
Dick Pepperfield: *Laughing* No no no, no no no. Mrs. Pepperfield is watching this, she watches all the broadcasts, and I just want you to know that I have no interest in these ladies what-so-ever. I think they are appalling.
• Rating: Unrated • Permalink
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Total Quotes: 19
