Joel Goodson: My name is Joel Goodson. I deal in human fulfillment. I grossed over eight thousand dollars in one night. Time of your life, huh kid? • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Guido: Let me give you a little advice so you know. In times of economic uncertainty, never ever f**k with another man's livelihood. Go have fun now. You know fun, time of your life? Maybe if you follow that, I won't have to come back here.
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Joel Goodson: [voiceover] The dream is always the same. Instead of going home, I go to the neighbors'. I ring, but nobody answers. The door is open, so I go inside. I'm looking around for the people, but nobody seems to be there. And then I hear the shower running, so I go upstairs to see what's what. Then I see her; this... girl, this incredible girl. I mean, what she's doing there I don't know, because she doesn't live there... but it's a dream, so I go with it. "Who's there?" she says. "Joel," I say. "What are you doing here?" "I don't know what I'm doing here; what are *you* doing here?" "I'm taking a shower," she says. Then I give her: "You want me to go?" "No," she says; "I want you to wash my back." So now, I'm gettin' enthusiastic about this dream. So I go to her, but she's hard to find through all the steam and stuff; I keep losing her. Finally I get to the door... and I... find myself in a room full of kids taking their college boards. I'm over three hours late; I've got two minutes to take the whole test. I've... just made a terrible mistake. I'll never get to college. My life is ruined.
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Guido: Listen to me.
Joel Goodson: No, no. You listen to ME!
Guido: [hangs up]
Joel Goodson: Shit!
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Joel Goodson: You listen to me, buster. You, you a-hole.
Guido: A-hole?
Joel Goodson: I want my stuff back right now.
Guido: Now you listen to me, you little f**k. Not only you take my two best girls, you call me names. If I didn't have any self-respect, it wouldn't just be the furniture, it'd be your arms, your legs, your head.
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Joel Goodson: I don't think I am going to say, "What the f**k" anymore.
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Rutherford: Well, Joel, you've done a lot of solid work here, but it's just not Ivy League, now is it?
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Joel Goodson: It was great the way her mind worked. No guilt, no doubts, no fear. None of my specialities. Just the shameless pursuit of immediate gratification. What a capitalist.
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Joel Goodson: Some of the girls are wearing my mother's clothing.
Lana: What's wrong with that?
Joel Goodson: I just don't want to spend the rest of my life in analysis.
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Jackie: Hello, Joel. I'm Jackie.
Joel Goodson: Hello, Jackie. I'm not Joel. Joel stepped out for a moment. Hold on... I'll go call him.
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Total Quotes: 30
