Raising Arizona Quotes
A collection of the best quotes from Raising Arizona by your favorite characters including H.I. McDunnough, Nathan Arizona and Edwina 'Ed' McDunnough.
Policeman: Do you have any disgruntled employees?Nathan Arizona Sr.: Hell, they're all disgruntled. I ain't running no damn daisy farm. My motto is "Do it my way or watch your butt!"
Policeman: Well, do you think any of them could've done it?
Nathan Arizona Sr.: Oh, don't make me laugh. Without my say-so they wouldn't piss with their pants on fire.
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H.I.: If it's all the same to you, Honey, I think I'll skip this little get together, slip out with the boys and knock back a couple of Coca Colas.
Ed: [gives him a look of disapproval]
H.I.: I guess that wouldn't be such a good idea.
Gale: So many social engagements, so little time.
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Ed McDonnough: This ain't family life!
H.I.: Well... it sure ain't "Ozzie and Harriet."
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Leonard Smalls: You want to find an outlaw, hire an outlaw. You want to find a Dunkin' Donuts, call a cop.
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H.I.: Biology and the prejudices of others conspired to keep us childless.
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H.I.: There's right and there's right and never the twain shall meet.
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Evelle: Gale? Um, Junior just had a ... an accident.
Gale: What's that, pardner?
Evelle: He had hisself a little ol' accident.
Gale: What do you mean? He looks okay.
Evelle: No. You see, moving though we are, he just went and had hisself a little ol' rest stop.
Gale: [sniffs the air] Well, that's natural.
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Evelle: H.I., you're young and you got your health, what you want with a job?
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Parole Board chairman: They've got a name for people like you H.I. That name is called "recidivism."
Parole Board member: Re-peat offender!
Parole Board chairman: Not a pretty name, is it H.I.?
H.I.: No, sir. That's one bonehead name, but that ain't me any more.
Parole Board chairman: You're not just telling us what we want to hear?
H.I.: No, sir, no way.
Parole Board member: 'Cause we just want to hear the truth.
H.I.: Well, then I guess I am telling you what you want to hear.
Parole Board chairman: Boy, didn't we just tell you not to do that?
H.I.: Yes, sir.
Parole Board chairman: Okay, then.
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Glen: Say that reminds me, how'd you get that kid so darn fast? Me and Dot went in to adopt on account a' somethin' went wrong with my semen, and they said we had to wait five years for a healthy white baby. I said, "Healthy white baby? Five years? What else you got?" Said they got two Koreans and a negra born with his heart on the outside. It's a crazy world.
H.I.: Someone oughta sell tickets.
Glen: Sure, I'd buy one.
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Total Quotes: 52