Pineapple Express Quotes (Page 2)
Red: Today's my cat's birthday. • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Dale Denton: Yeah but if you do bad stuff you're going to come back as something bad like a slug or an anal bead. But if you do something heroic then you'll come back as like an eagle or a dragon, or Jude Law. Now which would you rather be?
Red: The anal bead wouldn't be bad. I mean I guess it would depend on whose anal bead it was.
Dale Denton: It's *my* anal bead.
• Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Red: [points to his armpits] You see this? There's no hair under here!
Dale Denton: What's the significance of that?
Red: It makes me aerodynamic, for fighting!
• Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Saul: F**k Jeff Goldblum.
• Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Saul: BF... FF?
Dale Denton: Best F**kin’ Friends Forever Man!
• Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Angie Anderson: F**k you Dale. I lost my virginity when I was fourteen, okay? How many women have you even slept with?
Dale Denton: Like two and a half.
Angie Anderson: Two and a half? What the f**k does that mean? Your hand doesn't count.
• Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Saul: It's like, if you took that Blue Oyster s**t I gave you last week, and then that crazy African Kush I had that one time.. and they had a baby. And then meanwhile, that crazy Northern Light s**t I had, and that Red s**t I had, made a baby. And by some crazy miracle, those two babies got together, and f**ked... this would be it!
Dale Denton: [smells the marijuana] Oh. Wow. This is the product of baby f**king.
• Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Saul: Red! You came back! Man, you lied to me. You said you had herpes and Dale said you didn't.
Red: I know Saul. I'm sorry. It's just, after all this, and seeing this guy’s nuts get smashed with my Daewoo, I love you man.
[pause]
Red: I want to be inside you, homes!
• Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Saul: Wait...what do you mean the battery's dead?
Dale Denton: ... I mean the battery is dead. It ceases to live. The car needs a battery to start, Saul.
Saul: No no... What do you mean, the battery is dead?
Dale Denton: The battery is f**king dead. I don't know how I can word this to you differently.
• Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Police Liaison Officer: What the hell is that? What the hell is that?
Dale Denton: Oh, oh, it's a roach. It's a joint. I have anorexia. Honest I thought it was decriminalized.
Police Liaison Officer: Selling drugs to minors has *not* been decriminalized. I'm the police liaison officer with this school and I just saw a bunch of my kids comin' around the corner with their eyes as red as the devil's d**k!
• Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Total Quotes: 37