Peter Gibbons: Human beings were not meant to sit in little cubicles staring at computer screens all day, filling out useless forms and listening to eight different bosses drone on about about mission statements. • Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink
Tom Smykowski: Well... well look. I already told you: I deal with the god damn customers so the engineers don't have to. I have people skills; I am good at dealing with people! Can't you understand that? What the hell is wrong with you people?
• Rating: 9.9 / 10 • Permalink
Peter Gibbons: You see Bob, it's not that I'm lazy, it's that I just don't care.
Bob Slydell: Don't... don't care?
Peter Gibbons: It's a problem of motivation, all right? Now if I work my ass off and Initech ships a few extra units, I don't see another dime. So where's the motivation? And here's another thing, I have eight different bosses right now.
Bob Porter: Eight?
Peter Gibbons: Eight, Bob. So that means when I make a mistake, I have eight different people coming by to tell me about it. That's my only real motivation is not to be hassled, that, and the fear of losing my job. But you know, Bob, that will only make someone work just hard enough not to get fired.
• Rating: 9.9 / 10 • Permalink
Nina: Corporate accounts payable, Nina speaking. JUST a moment. Corporate accounts payable, Nina speaking. JUST a moment. Corporate accounts payable, Nina speaking. JUST a moment.
• Rating: 9.9 / 10 • Permalink
Bob Porter: Looks like you've been missing a lot of work lately.
Peter Gibbons: Well, I wouldn't exactly say I've been "missing" it, Bob.
• Rating: 9.7 / 10 • Permalink
Peter Gibbons: Let me ask you something. When you come in on Monday, and you're not feelin' real well, does anyone ever say to you, 'Sounds like someone has a case of the Mondays'?
Lawrence: [pauses] No. No, man. Shit, no, man. I believe you'd get your ass kicked sayin' something like that, man.
• Rating: 9.5 / 10 • Permalink
Bill Lumbergh: Mmm, yeah, I'm going to have to go ahead and ask you to come in on Sunday, too. We've got some new people coming in and we... need to play catch-up. Thanks!
• Rating: 9.3 / 10 • Permalink
Michael Bolton: I told those fudge packers that I liked Michael Bolton's music.
• Rating: 8.6 / 10 • Permalink
Lawrence: [shouting through the wall] Hey Peter, man, check out Channel 9, it's the breast exam! Woo!
• Rating: 8.0 / 10 • Permalink
Joanna: How dare you judge me? Look at you. You're just some penny-stealing... criminal... man.
Peter Gibbons: Well that may be. But at least I never slept with Lumbergh.
• Rating: 8.0 / 10 • Permalink
Total Quotes: 63
