Olive: Do you think there's a Heaven?Frank: Well, it's hard to say, Olive. I don't think anyone knows for sure.
Olive: I know, but what do you think?
Frank: Well... um... uh...
Olive: I think there is.
Frank: Think I'll get in?
Olive: Yeah.
Frank: Promise?
Olive: Yeah.
• Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink
Pageant Assistant: Are you authorized to be backstage?
Dwayne: [without stopping] No.
• Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink
Richard: Sweet sweetness!
• Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink
Grandpa: Again with the f**king chicken.
Richard: Dad.
Grandpa: It's always with the goddamn f**king chicken.
• Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink
Olive: I'd like to dedicate this to my grandpa, who showed me these moves.
Pageant MC: Aww, that is so sweet.
[Audience applauds]
Pageant MC: Is he here? Where's your grandpa right now?
Olive: In the trunk of our car.
• Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink
Pageant Official: What is your daughter doing?
Richard: She's kickin' ass... that's what she's doing.
• Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink
Frank: [recounting his suicide attempt] But he went and fell in love with a colleague of mine; Larry Sugarman, the number 2 expert on Marcel Proust in America.
Richard: Who's number 1?
Frank: That would be me, Richard.
• Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink
Grandpa: So are you gettin' any?
Dwayne: [shakes his head no]
Grandpa: Christ! What are you? 15? You gotta be gettin' that young stuff!
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Richard: Sarcasm is the refuge of losers.
Frank: Really?
Richard: Sarcasm is losers trying to bring winners down to their level.
Frank: Thank you for opening my eyes to what a loser I am!
• Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink
Sheryl: He was snorting heroin.
Frank: You were snorting heroin?
Grandpa: [to Dwayne] Let me tell you, don't do that stuff. When you're young, you're crazy to do that s**t.
Frank: Well what about you?
Grandpa: What about me? When you're old, you're crazy not to do it.
• Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink
Total Quotes: 38
