Elle: Oh my God.The Honorable Marina R. Bickford: Oh my God.
Brooke: Oh my God.
The Honorable Marina R. Bickford: Bailiff, take the witness into custody, where she will be charged for the murder of Joseph Windham. Case dismissed. Mrs. Windham, you are free to go.
Brooke: Thank you, your honor.
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Professor Stromwell: If you're going to let one stupid prick ruin your life... you're not the girl I thought you were.
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Professor Callahan: Let the blood bath begin.
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Elle: Bend and snap.
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Elle: It has come to my attention that the maintenance staff is switching our toilet paper from Charmin... to generic. All those opposed to chafing, please say "Aye."
Entire Sorority Group: Aye!
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Warner Huntington III: How was your first class?
Elle: Oh, it was okay, except for this horrible preppy girl who tried to make me look bad in front of the professor, but no biggie.
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Emmett: Did you take Mrs. Windham on a date?
Enrique Salvatore: Yes.
Emmett: Where?
Enrique Salvatore: A restaurant in Concord, where no one could recognize us.
Emmett: How long have you been sleeping with Mrs. Windham?
Enrique Salvatore: Three months.
Emmett: And your boyfriend's name is...
Enrique Salvatore: Chuck.
Emmett: Right.
Enrique Salvatore: Pardon me, pardon me! I thought you said friend; Chuck is just a friend!
Chuck: YOU BITCH!
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Elle: All people see when they look at me is blonde hair and big boobs.
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Elle: So, if you don't know an answer they're just gonna kick you out.
Emmett: So you have Stromwell, huh?
Elle: Yes. Did she do that to you too?
Emmett: No, but she did make me cry once... not in class I waited until I got back to my room, but yeah she'll kick you right in the balls, or wherever.
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Elle: Don't ask.
Emmett: Wasn't gonna.
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Total Quotes: 60
