Jay: I'm going to be there to rear your child.Jason: You hear that, Ben? Don't let him near the kid, he wants to rear your child!
• Rating: 9.6 / 10 • Permalink
Female Doctor: Oops. That's not your vagina. That's your asshole.
• Rating: 9.5 / 10 • Permalink
Ben Stone: Your face looks like Robin Williams' knuckles.
• Rating: 9.1 / 10 • Permalink
Fantasy baseball player: Don't let the door hit you in the vagina on the way out!
• Rating: 9.0 / 10 • Permalink
Alison Scott: I'm pregnant.
Ben Stone: With a baby?
• Rating: 8.2 / 10 • Permalink
Ben Stone: F**k you hormones!
• Rating: 8.0 / 10 • Permalink
Jonah: Tell him not to jerk off with a noose around his neck - it's dangerous.
• Rating: 8.0 / 10 • Permalink
Alison Scott: I'm sorry I told you to f**k your bong.
Ben Stone: It's okay... I didn't.
• Rating: 8.0 / 10 • Permalink
Debbie: He has man boobs. That means he has bad jeans.
• Rating: 7.3 / 10 • Permalink
Alison Scott: Hey...
Ben Stone: I'm naked.
Alison Scott: Yeah.
Ben Stone: Did we have sex?
Alison Scott: Yes.
Ben Stone: Nice.
• Rating: 5.5 / 10 • Permalink
Total Quotes: 37
