Jersey Girl Quotes
A collection of the best quotes from Jersey Girl by your favorite characters including Ollie Trinke, Bart Trinke and Gertie Trinke.
Teacher: Everyone, please take your seats. You heard the bell. You know what it means. Last week, the assignment was to write an essay about your family. Who they...Teacher: [class: "Are!"] And what they...
Teacher: [class: "Mean to us!"] Excellent droning.
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Gertie: I hate you! I hate you! I wish you died, not Mommy!
Ollie: I hate you right back you little s**t! You and your mom took my life away from me. I just want it back!
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Bart: Sun even shines on a dog's ass some days.
Greenie: You gettin' a dog?
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Maya: That was kinda sweet. I'm kinda crushin' on you right now, Trinke.
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Ollie: "Cats" is the second worst thing that ever happened to New York City.
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Ollie: Do you have any questions about what you saw?
Gertie: [thinking hard] Do you have what Brian has?
Ollie: Yes.
Gertie: [thinking hard] Is it as big as his?
Ollie: Sadly, yes.
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Ollie: George Michael is all about the ladies. "I want your sex." Does that sound like he's singing to a guy?
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Boy: Okay, it's like this. My dog ate my paper. I checked, but he didn't poop it out.
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Bart: Try acting like a father, s**thead.
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Gertrude Steiney: You try getting ready quickly when you look like this! I'm so fat and there's gonna be nothing but beautiful skinny girls there!
Ollie: That's because they're all coked-out whores, honey.
Gertrude Steiney: [crying] I wanna be a coked-out whore!
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Total Quotes: 25