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Funny People
Quotes

A collection of the best quotes from Funny People by your favorite characters including George Simmons and Ira Wright.


Dr. Lars: It's too early to know who's winning the fight: the medicine or the disease.
George Simmons: Did anybody ever tell you, you have a very scary accent?
Dr. Lars: You are a very funny man. I enjoy your movies.
George Simmons: And I enjoy all of your movies.
Dr. Lars: [surprised] Which movies?
George Simmons: The ones where you try to kill Bruce Willis.
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George Simmons: So, Ira Wright? That's not your real name. You're hiding some Judaism.
Ira Wright: I don't think I can hide that. My face is circumcised.
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Mark: When my grandfather died, there was one candle next to his bed. And the candle started flickering. We all thought it was him going to Heaven, you know?
Leo: You don't pass through fire to get to Heaven. I think he went to Hell.
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George Simmons: Is your act just designed to make sure no girl will ever sleep with you?
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Mark: Don't put me in this position where I have to f**k my way out of a corner!
Leo: He'll do it too. I've seen him.
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Laura: No cussing in your standup.
George Simmons: That takes out half of my act.
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Leo: If you put 'Cut Kittens' the title of your video, you will have a million hits, then you can put that as a link to your standup.
Ira Wright: Why not just put 'Megan Fox giving a blowjob'?
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George Simmons: So I'm guessing your friend is the fat version of you.
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Mark: I can't belive this, I'm opening up to you, and you're making fun of a serious moment in my life.
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George Simmons: So, which room is yours?
Ira Wright: Prepare to take a hike, because you're standing in it.
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Total Quotes: 21
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