Dogma Quotes (Page 2)
Jay: Get offa me. I wanna see what's up. What the f**k is this s**t? Who the f**k are you, lady? Why the f**k did you hug my head?Metatron: Quite a little mouth on him, isn't there?
Jay: What the f**k is this, The Piano? Why ain't this broad talking?
Metatron: I believe the answers that you seek lie within my companion's eyes.
Jay: What the f**k does that mean? Has everyone gone f**kin' nuts? What the f**k happened to that guy's head? I want some...
[God kisses him on the cheek. Jay faints]
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Azrael: But I'm a f**kin' demon.
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Bethany: What's he like?
Metatron: God? Lonely. But funny. He's got a great sense of humor. Take sex for example. There's nothing funnier than the ridiculous faces you people make mid-coitus.
Bethany: Sex is a joke in heaven?
Metatron: The way I understand it, it's mostly a joke down here, too.
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Metatron: However, if you should decide to stop being selfish and accept your responsibility, you won't be alone. You'll have support.
Bethany: What, more angels?
Metatron: Prophets. Two of them. The one who speaks - and he will, at great lengths, whether you want him to or not - will make mention of himself as a prophet. The other one... well, he's the quiet type, but he'll be helpful just the same.
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Bethany: Then - I don't mean to sound ungrateful - but what are you doing hanging around?
Jay: We're here to pick up chicks.
Bethany: Excuse me?
Jay: We figure an abortion clinic is a good place to meet loose women. Why else would they be there unless they like to f**k?
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Jay: I feel like I'm Han Solo, and you're Chewie, and she's Ben Kenobi, and we're in that f**ked-up bar.
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Rufus: You know what the dead do with most of their time? They watch the living. Especially in the shower.
Jay: I can't wait to die.
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Serendipity: Can you believe it? Me - a muse, for God's sake. I sit down in front of the typewriter, and what do I get? Nothing. Blank page. I can't even write a grocery list.
Bethany: What about what you did with Jay and Silent Bob? You inspired them.
Serendipity: That's the cosmic joke. I can give out a zillion and nine ideas a second, but I can't keep any for myself. Her quirky sense of humor.
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Metatron: Human beings have neither the aural nor the psychological capacity to withstand the awesome power of God's true voice. Were you to hear it, your mind would cave in and your heart would explode within your chest. We went through five Adams before we figured that one out.
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Loki: The last four days on Earth. If I had a d**k, I'd go get laid. But we can do that next best thing.
Bartleby: What's that?
Loki: Let's kill people.
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Total Quotes: 59