Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story Quotes
A collection of the best quotes from Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story by your favorite characters including White Goodman, Peter La Fleur and Patches O'Houlihan.
Patches O'Houlihan: Those men and that muff-diver believe in you. • Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink
Patches O'Houlihan: If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball.
Justin: What?
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Patches O'Houlihan: If you can dodge traffic, you can dodge a ball.
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White Goodman: Go ahead, make your jokes, Mr. Jokey... Joke-maker. But let me hit you with some knowledge. Quit now. Save yourself the embarrassment of losing with these losers in Las Vegas, La Fleur.
Peter La Fleur: Alliteration aside, I'll take my chances in the tournament.
White Goodman: Yeah, you will take your chances.
Peter La Fleur: I know. I just said that.
White Goodman: I know you just said that.
Peter La Fleur: Okay, I'm not sure where you're going with this.
White Goodman: Well, I'm not sure where *you're* going with this.
Peter La Fleur: That's what I said.
White Goodman: That's what I'm saying to *you*.
Peter La Fleur: All right.
White Goodman: ...TouchÈ.
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Peter La Fleur: You need some help leaving White?
White Goodman: This doesn't concern you, Lafleur.
Peter La Fleur: Not nearly as much as your hair does, that's for sure, but uh, I believe she asked you to leave.
White Goodman: I get it, you caught the scent of a lesser stag in your nostrils. Pity. I'll let you have your little moment, LaFleur, 'cause after this tournament, your gym, your life - and your gal - are gonna be mine. To be continued.
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Peter La Fleur: Come on, Kate. It's time to put your mouth where our balls are.
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Lance Armstrong: Hey, aren't you Peter La Fleur?
Peter La Fleur: Lance Armstrong!
Lance Armstrong: Ya, that's me. But I'm a big fan of yours.
Peter La Fleur: Really?
Lance Armstrong: Ya, I've been watching the dodgeball tournament on the Ocho. ESPN 8. I just can't get enough of it. Good luck in the tournament. I'm really pulling for you against those jerks from Globo Gym. I think you better hurry up or you're gonna be late.
Peter La Fleur: Uh, actually I decided to quit... Lance.
Lance Armstrong: Quit? You know, once I was thinking of quitting when I was diagnosed with brain, lung and testicular cancer all at the same time. But with the love and support of my friends and family, I got back on the bike and won the Tour de France five times in a row. But I'm sure you have a good reason to quit. So what are you dying of that's keeping you from the finals?
Peter La Fleur: Right now it feels a little bit like... shame.
Lance Armstrong: Well, I guess if a person never quit when the going got tough, they wouldn't anything to regret for the rest of their life. Well good luck to you Peter. I'm sure this decision won't haunt you forever.
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Patches O'Houlihan: I ain't crazy and I ain't a guy.
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Steve the Pirate: I'm gonna send you all to hell!
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White Goodman: In thirty days I'll be bulldozing that s**t-heap you call a gym into permanent nothingness. And I can only hope that you, and the mongrel race that comprise your membership, are inside it when I do.
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Total Quotes: 48