Clerks II Quotes
A collection of the best quotes from Clerks II by your favorite characters including Jay, Randal Graves and Dante Hicks.
Elias: [wasted] I hope that donkey doesn't have a heinie troll! • Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink
Jay: You know, sometimes I wish I did a little more with my life instead of hanging out in front of places selling weed and s**t. Like, maybe be an animal doctor. Why not me? I like seals and s**t. Or maybe an astronaut. Yeah... be the first motherf**ker to see a new galaxy, or find a new alien life form... and f**k it. People would be like, "There he goes. Homeboy f**ked a Martian once."
• Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink
Silent Bob: ... I got nothing.
• Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink
Jay: That guy's being awfully forward with that donkey.
• Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Randal Graves: You're in the bestiality business.
Sexy Stud: Hey. F**ko. We like to call it inter-species erotica.
Randal Graves: Intriguing.
• Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Randal Graves: That look was so gay, I thought Sam was gonna tell the little Hobbits to go for a walk so he could saunter over to Frodo and suck his f**king c**k. Now that would have been an Academy Award-worthy ending.
Hobbit Lover: Hey, faggot! They're not gay. They're hobbits.
• Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Randal Graves: All right, look, there's only one "Return," okay, and it ain't "of the King," it's "of the Jedi."
Hobbit Lover: Oh, Star Wars geek.
Randal Graves: Oh, I'm the geek? Look at you two whipping out your preciouses.
Elias: You'll have to excuse him, he's not "down" with the trilogy.
Randal Graves: Oh, what the f**k happened to this world? There's only one trilogy, you f**king morons.
• Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Elias: F**k Pillowpants! Honk if you love or like p***y!
Jay: [Looks at Silent Bob] Yo, we love p***y!
• Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Lance Dowds: Randal Graves. You work here too? Jesus, anyone else from our graduating class back there?
• Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Teen #1: You holding?
Jay: Shit, everything except coke, heroin, and your c**k!
• Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Total Quotes: 38