Lacey Underall: My uncle says you've got a screw loose.Ty Webb: Your uncle molests collies.
• Rating: 9.2 / 10 • Permalink
Spalding Smails: This is good stuff. I got it from a Negro. You're probably high already and you don't even know it.
• Rating: 9.0 / 10 • Permalink
Spalding Smails: I want a hamburger... no, a cheeseburger. I want a hot dog. I want a milkshake...
Judge Smails: You'll get nothing, and like it.
• Rating: 9.0 / 10 • Permalink
Judge Smails: Well, we're waiting!
• Rating: 8.7 / 10 • Permalink
Carl Spackler: Bark like a dog.
• Rating: 8.7 / 10 • Permalink
Judge Smails: I've sentenced boys younger than you to the gas chamber. Didn't want to do it. I felt I owed it to them.
• Rating: 8.5 / 10 • Permalink
Ty Webb: What brings you to this nape of the woods, neck of the wape; How come you're here?
• Rating: 8.3 / 10 • Permalink
Carl Spackler: This place got a pool?
Ty Webb: Pool and a pond... Pond be good for you.
• Rating: 8.0 / 10 • Permalink
Sandy: Carl I want you to kill all the gophers on the golf course
Carl Spackler: Correct me if I'm wrong Sandy, but if I kill all the golfers they'll lock me up and throw away the key.
Sandy: Not golfers, you great fool. Gophers. The *little* *brown*, *furry* *rodents*.
Carl Spackler: We can do that. We don't even need a reason.
• Rating: 8.0 / 10 • Permalink
Ty Webb: You take drugs, Danny?
Danny Noonan: Every day.
Ty Webb: Good. Then what's your problem?
Danny Noonan: I don't know.
• Rating: 8.0 / 10 • Permalink
Total Quotes: 74
