Crash Davis: Come on, Annie, think of something clever to say, huh? Something full of magic, religion, bulls**t. Come on, dazzle me.Annie Savoy: I want you.
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Crash Davis: I never told him to stay out of your bed.
Annie Savoy: You most certainly did.
Crash Davis: I never told him to stay out of your bed.
Annie Savoy: Yes you did.
Crash Davis: I told him that a player on a streak has to respect the streak.
Annie Savoy: Oh fine.
Crash Davis: You know why? Because they don't -- they don't happen very often.
Annie Savoy: Right.
Crash Davis: If you believe you're playing well because you're getting laid, or because you're not getting laid, or because you wear women's underwear, then you ARE! And you should know that!
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Crash Davis: Last chance. Your place or mine?
Annie Savoy: Despite my rejection of most Judeo-Christian ethics, I am, within the framework of the baseball season, monogamous.
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Crash Davis: It's time to work on your interviews.
Ebby Calvin LaLoosh: My interviews? What do I gotta do?
Crash Davis: You're gonna have to learn your clichés. You're gonna have to study them, you're gonna have to know them. They're your friends. Write this down: "We gotta play it one day at a time."
Ebby Calvin LaLoosh: Got to play... it's pretty boring.
Crash Davis: 'Course it's boring, that's the point. Write it down.
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Annie Savoy: These are the ground rules. I hook up with one guy a season. Usually takes me a couple weeks to pick the guy - kinda my own spring training. And, well, you two are the most promising prospects of the season so far, so I just thought we should kinda get to know each other.
Crash Davis: Time out. Why do you get to choose?
Annie Savoy: What?
Crash Davis: Why do you get to choose? I mean, why don't I get to choose, why doesn't he get to choose?
Annie Savoy: Well, actually, nobody on this planet ever really chooses each other. I mean, it's all a question of quantum physics, molecular attraction, and timing. Why, there are laws we don't understand that bring us together and tear us apart. Uh, it's like pheromones. You get three ants together, they can't do d**k. You get 300 million of them, they can build a cathedral.
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Ebby Calvin LaLoosh: The other day Crash called a woman's pu... p***y... um, well, you know how the hair is kind of in a V-shape?
Annie Savoy: Yes, I do.
Ebby Calvin LaLoosh: Well, he called it the Bermuda Triangle. He said that a man could get lost in there and never be heard from again.
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Annie Savoy: [narrating] Baseball may be a religion full of magic, cosmic truth, and the fundamental ontological riddles of our time, but it's also a job.
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Annie Savoy: Right, honey, let's get down to it. How was Ebby Calvin LaLoosh?
Millie: Well, he f**ks like he pitches - sorta all over the place.
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Annie Savoy: [narrating] Walt Whitman once said, "I see great things in baseball. It's our game, the American game. It will repair our losses and be a blessing to us." You could look it up.
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Crash Davis: The rose goes in the front, big guy.
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Total Quotes: 38
