Frank: Hey, you wanna go feed that donkey some beer? Get it all messed up? • Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink
Billy Madison: Oh Veronica Vaughn! So hot! Want to touch the hiney! Arrroooooooo!
• Rating: 9.9 / 10 • Permalink
Billy Madison: Well, I made the duck blue because I'd never seen a blue duck before and I wanted to see one.
• Rating: 9.5 / 10 • Permalink
Lunch Lady: Have some more sloppy joes. I made 'em extra sloppy for yous. I know how yous kids like 'em sloppy.
Billy Madison: Lady, you're scaring us.
• Rating: 8.0 / 10 • Permalink
Carl: I ate some Triscuit crackers in the car, you should have had some.
Eric: Well, maybe if you told me they were delicious Triscuit crackers I could have enjoyed them with you.
Carl: I'm sorry.
Eric: Well, "sorry" doesn't put the Triscuit crackers in my stomach now, does it Karl?
• Rating: 8.0 / 10 • Permalink
Veronica Vaughn: [scolding Billy in the hallway] Making fun of a kid for trying to read! Are you psycho? Do you not have a soul?
• Rating: 7.3 / 10 • Permalink
Brian Madison: Remember that spelling bee you won in the first grade? Rock: r-o-k?
Billy Madison: Yeah, so what's your point?
Brian Madison: r-o-C-k!
Billy Madison: Ohhh yeh! The c is silent.
• Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Billy Madison: Dad, I think Crazy Carl is right.
• Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Frank: Who would you rather bone, Meg Ryan or Jack Nicholson?
Billy Madison: Jack Nicholson now, or 1974?
Frank: 1974.
Billy Madison: Meg Ryan.
• Rating: Unrated • Permalink
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Total Quotes: 19
