Billy Madison Quotes
A collection of the best quotes from Billy Madison by your favorite characters including Billy Madison and Veronica Vaughn.
Billy Madison: No I will not make out with you. Did ya hear that? this girl wants to make out with me in the middle of class. You got Chlorophyll Man up there talking about God knows what and all she can talk about is making out with me. I'm here to learn, everybody, not to make out with you. Go on with the chlorophyll. • Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink
Billy Madison: I swear to God I'm sick. I can't go to school.
Juanita: If you're gonna stay home today, you can help me shave my armpits.
Billy Madison: Oh my God. I'll go to school.
• Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink
Billy Madison: Back to school. Back to school, to prove to Dad that I'm not a fool. I got my lunch packed up, my boots tied tight, I hope I don't get in a fight. Ohhhh, back to school. Back to school. Back to school. Well, here goes nothing.
• Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink
Old Farm Lady: If peeing in your pants is cool, consider me Miles Davis.
Billy Madison: OOH. That is the grossest thing I've ever heard in my life. Let's Go.
• Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink
Billy Madison: Shampoo is better. I go on first and clean the hair. Conditioner is better. I leave the hair silky and smooth. Oh, really, fool? Really.
[Notices gold swan on edge of tub]
Billy Madison: Stop looking at me, swa
• Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink
Billy Madison: [shouting] Where's my snack pack?
Juanita: You got a banana, you don't need no snack pack.
• Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink
Billy Madison: Billy-Whoa whoa whoa, Miss Lippy. The part of the story I don't like is that the little boy gave up looking for Happy after an hour. He didn't put posters up or anything, he just sat on the porch like a goon and waited. That little boy's gotta think 'You got a pet. You got a responsibility.' If your dog is lost you don't look for an hour then call it quits. You get your ass out there and you find that f**king dog.
• Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink
Billy Madison: [drunk, he sees a fake a penguin] It's too damn hot for a penguin to be just walkin' around. I gotta send you back to the South Pole.
• Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink
Kid: Mortal Kombat, on Sega Genesis, is the best video game ever.
Billy Madison: I disagree, it's a very good game, but i think Donkey Kong is the best game ever.
Kid: Donkey Kong sucks.
Billy Madison: You know something? YOU SUCK!
• Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink
Frank: Hey, you wanna go feed that donkey some beer? Get it all messed up?
• Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink
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Total Quotes: 19