Bewitched Quotes
A collection of the best quotes from Bewitched by your favorite characters including Jack Wyatt, Isabel Bigelow and Uncle Arthur.
Jack Wyatt: How would you like to be on a television show?Isabel Bigelow: An actress?
Jack Wyatt: Yeah, if *I* can act, *you* can act.
Book Soup Cafe Waitress: Amen.
Jack Wyatt: [to girl] You know what? I think those people over there just finished their plate of *hummus*.
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Isabel Bigelow: Guess what? I'm a witch!
Jack Wyatt: Guess what? I'm a Clippers fan!
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Uncle Arthur: Do you want the long version or the short version? And I have to warn you, the long version is in Aramaic.
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Jack Wyatt: [takes a drink of something Uncle Arthur has just made in the blender] This tastes awful!
Uncle Arthur: I know. I just like to blend.
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Ritchie: Will you stop it? You're being the mayor of Pussytown!
Jack Wyatt: I don't want to be the mayor of Pussytown!
Ritchie: I want you to get out there and be the sheriff of Ballsville!
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Maria Kelly: When my first husband left me I was so angry I wanted to cut his brake cables... but instead we ended up having sex on the elliptical machine.
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Jack Wyatt: Let's make love in a hot-air balloon - let's make love in a candy factory - let's make love in a petting zoo...
Isabel Bigelow: I have to undo this...
Jack Wyatt: Let's make love at Sea World on the back of a killer whale!
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Jack Wyatt: I'm going to be killed by a fictional character!
Uncle Arthur: Yes, you are.
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Ritchie: That's it. You're fired.
Isabel Bigelow: Doesn't matter... I quit! Yeah, so you better call my agent.
Jim Fields: You don't have an agent.
Isabel Bigelow: Then call my cable man!
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Isabel Bigelow: [after quitting/being fired] I can't just walk back in there now.
Jack Wyatt: Once you show up in a golf cart, believe me, all is forgiven. I've done it a lot of times.
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Total Quotes: 14