Lester Burnham: I figured you guys might be able to give me some pointers. I need to shape up. Fast.Jim Olmeyer: Are you just looking to lose weight, or do you want increased strength and flexibility as well?
Lester Burnham: I wanna look good naked!
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Lester Burnham: I feel like I've been in a coma for the past 20 years. And I'm just now waking up.
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Jane Burnham: I know you think my dad's harmless, but you're wrong.
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Ricky Fitts: Welcome to America's weirdest home videos.
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Carolyn Burnham: You ungrateful little brat! Just look at everything you have. When I was your age, we lived in a duplex! We didn't even have our own house!
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Buddy Kane: You like getting f**ked by the King?
Carolyn Burnham: F**k me, your majesty!
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Angela Hayes: Yeah? Well, at least I'm not ugly!
Ricky Fitts: Yes, you are. And you're boring, and you're totally ordinary, and you know it.
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Lester Burnham: Then I guess I'll have to throw in a sexual harassment charge.
Brad: Against who?
Lester Burnham: Against you. Can you prove that you didn't offer to save my job if I let you blow me?
Brad: Man, you are one twisted f**k.
Lester Burnham: No, Brad. I'm just an ordinary guy with nothing to lose.
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Carolyn Burnham: There happens to be a lot about me that you don't know, Mr. Smarty Man. There's plenty of joy in my life.
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Angela Hayes: If people I don't even know look at me and want to f**k me, it means I really have a shot at being a model.
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Total Quotes: 52
