Catwoman: Not even in office yet and already an enemies list, hmm?
The Penguin: Those names aren't for prying eyes. Say, why should I trust some cat-broad, anyway? Maybe you're just some screwed-up sorority chick who's trying to get back at her daddy for not buying her that pony when she turned sweet sixteen.
 • Movie: Batman Returns • Rating: Unrated • Permalink

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The Penguin: Check it out. We're going to disassemble the Batmobile - turn it into an H-bomb on wheels.
Catwoman: No, he'd have even more power as a martyr. To destroy Batman, we have to turn him into what he hates the most. Namely us.
 • Movie: Batman Returns • Rating: Unrated • Permalink

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The Penguin: By the way, how's Fred Atkins, your old partner?
Maximillian 'Max' Shreck: Fred? I believe he's... on extended vacation. He's good.
The Penguin: Good?
[Penguin takes out a severed hand]
The Penguin: Hi, Max! Remember me? I'm Fred's hand! You wanna greet any other body parts? Remember, Max. You flush it. I flaunt it.
 • Movie: Batman Returns • Rating: Unrated • Permalink

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The Penguin: You're coming with me, Mr. Chip Shreck, to die!
Maximillian 'Max' Shreck: Not Chip! Please! If you have one shred of human decency in you, you'll take me instead.
The Penguin: I don't, so no.
Maximillian 'Max' Shreck: Come on, aren't I the one you want? Max Shreck, the guy you really want to see immersed up to his eyeballs in raw sewage?
The Penguin: ...Okay, you got a point. I'll let the little prince live.
 • Movie: Batman Returns • Rating: Unrated • Permalink

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Josh: There's probably not a lot of reflective surfaces in the sewer.
[He chuckles and the Penguin joins in]
The Penguin: Still... it could be worse. My nose could be gushing blood.
[They both laugh again]
Josh: Your nose could be gushing... what do you mean...
[the Penguin bites Josh's nose]
 • Movie: Batman Returns • Rating: Unrated • Permalink

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Catwoman: I thought you were just going to scare the Ice Princess.
The Penguin: She looked pretty scared to me!
 • Movie: Batman Returns • Rating: Unrated • Permalink

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Maximillian 'Max' Shreck: So he survived. What's the worst that could happen?
The Penguin: He didn't even lose a limb! An eyeball! Bladder control!
 • Movie: Batman Returns • Rating: Unrated • Permalink

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Catwoman: It's chilly in here.
The Penguin: I'll warm you.
 • Movie: Batman Returns • Rating: Unrated • Permalink

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Catwoman: We need to talk. You see, you and I have something in common.
The Penguin: Sounds familiar. Appetite for destruction? Contempt for the czars of fashion? Wait, don't tell me... naked sexual charisma.
Catwoman: Batman. The thorn in both our sides. The fly in our ointment.
The Penguin: Ointment! Scented or unscented?
 • Movie: Batman Returns • Rating: Unrated • Permalink

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Volunteer Bimbo: You're the coolest role-model a young person could have!
The Penguin: And you're the hottest young person a role-model could have.
 • Movie: Batman Returns • Rating: Unrated • Permalink

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