The Dude: Well, they finally did it. They killed my f**king car.
Nihilist: Ve vant ze money, Lebowski.
Nihilist #2: Ja, uzzervize ve kill ze girl.
Nihilist #3: Ja, it seems you have forgotten our little deal, Lebowski.
The Dude: You don't HAVE the f**king girl, dips**ts! We know you never did!
 • Movie: The Big Lebowski • Rating: Unrated • Permalink

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The Dude: Look, just stay away from my f**king lady friend.
Da Fino: Hey, I'm not messing with your special lady.
The Dude: She's not my special lady, she's my f**king lady friend. I'm just helping her conceive.
 • Movie: The Big Lebowski • Rating: 8.0 / 10 • Permalink

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Walter Sobchak: Donny, you're out of your element!
The Dude: Walter, the chinaman who peed on my rug, I can't go give him a bill, so what the f**k are you talking about?
Walter Sobchak: What the f**k are you talking about? The chinaman is not the issue here, Dude. I'm talking about drawing a line in the sand, Dude. Across this line, you DO NOT... Also, Dude, chinaman is not the preferred nomenclature. Asian-American, please.
The Dude: Walter, this isn't a guy who built the f**king railroads here. This is a guy...
Walter Sobchak: What the f**k are you talking about?
The Dude: Walter, he peed on my rug!
Donny: He peed on the Dude's rug.
Walter Sobchak: Donny you're out of your element!
 • Movie: The Big Lebowski • Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink

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The Dude: Walter, what is the point? Look, we all know who is at fault here, what the f**k are you talking about?
Walter Sobchak: Huh? No, what the f**k are you... I'm not... We're talking about unchecked aggression here, dude.
Donny: What the f**k is he talking about?
The Dude: My rug.
 • Movie: The Big Lebowski • Rating: Unrated • Permalink

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Treehorn Thug: [holding up bowling ball] What the f**k is this?
The Dude: Obviously you're not a golfer.
 • Movie: The Big Lebowski • Rating: Unrated • Permalink

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The Dude: These are, uh...
Brandt: Oh, those are Mr Lebowski's children, so to speak.
The Dude: Different mothers, huh?
Brandt: No.
The Dude: Racially he's pretty cool?
Brandt: [laughs] They're not literally his children. They're the Little Lebowski Urban Achievers - inner city children of promise but without the necessary means for a - necessary means for a higher education. So Mr Lebowski is committed to sending all of them to college.
 • Movie: The Big Lebowski • Rating: Unrated • Permalink

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The Dude: Also, my rug was stolen.
Cop: The rug was in the car?
The Dude: No. It was here.
Cop: [eager] Oh, separate incidents.
Maude Lebowski: [on answering machine] Jeffrey, this is Maude Lebowski. I need to see you. I'm the one who took your rug.
Cop: Well. I guess we can close the books on that one.
 • Movie: The Big Lebowski • Rating: Unrated • Permalink

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Walter Sobchak: I'm saying, I see what you're getting at, Dude, he kept the money. My point is, here we are, it's shabbas, the sabbath, which I'm allowed to break only if it's a matter of life or death...
The Dude: Will you come off it, Walter? You're not even f**king Jewish, man.
Walter Sobchak: What the f**k are you talkin' about?
The Dude: Man, you're f**king Polish Catholic...
Walter Sobchak: What the f**k are you talking about? I converted when I married Cynthia! Come on, Dude!
The Dude: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah...
Walter Sobchak: And you know this!
The Dude: Yeah, and five f**king years ago you were divorced.
Walter Sobchak: So what are you saying? When you get divorced you turn in your library card? You get a new license? You stop being Jewish?
The Dude: It's all a part of your sick Cynthia thing, man. Taking care of her f**king dog. Going to her f**king synagogue. You're living in the f**king past.
Walter Sobchak: Three thousand years of beautiful tradition, from Moses to Sandy Koufax. You're goddamn right I'm living in the f**king past!
 • Movie: The Big Lebowski • Rating: Unrated • Permalink

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Walter Sobchak: I told those f**ks down at the league office a thousand times that I don't roll on Shabbos!
Donny: What's Shabbos?
Walter Sobchak: Saturday, Donny, is Shabbos, the Jewish day of rest. That means that I don't work, I don't get in a car, I don't f**king ride in a car, I don't pick up the phone, I don't turn on the oven, and I sure as s**t
[shouts]
Walter Sobchak: don't f**king roll! Shomer shabbos!
The Dude: Walter...
Walter Sobchak: Shomer f**king shabbos.
The Dude: Oh f**k it.
 • Movie: The Big Lebowski • Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink

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Walter Sobchak: You want a toe? I can get you a toe, believe me. There are ways, Dude. You don't wanna know about it, believe me.
The Dude: Yeah, but Walter...
Walter Sobchak: Hell, I can get you a toe by 3 o'clock this afternoon... with nail polish. These f**king amateurs...
 • Movie: The Big Lebowski • Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink

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