Saul: It's almost a shame to smoke it. It's like killing a unicorn...with, like, a bomb.
 • Movie: Pineapple Express • Rating: Unrated • Permalink

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Saul: Man, why'd we have to go to the woods?
Dale Denton: Well you didn't come up with any ideas!
Saul: Yeah, I came up with two! Nowhere and Quizno's.
 • Movie: Pineapple Express • Rating: Unrated • Permalink

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Saul: No... I see. The monkey's out of the bottle now!
Dale Denton: What? That's not even.. a figure of speech.
Saul: Pandora can't go back into the box, he only comes out.
 • Movie: Pineapple Express • Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink

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Saul: How about in the park, when I said you were my friend... you didn't say anything back.
Dale Denton: Well, that's easy. It's because we're not friend. You are my drug dealer, the only reason I know you is because I like the drugs you sell. If you didn't sell drugs, I would have no idea who you are, and I wouldn't be here right now. I would be fantastic!
 • Movie: Pineapple Express • Rating: Unrated • Permalink

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Saul: Wait...what do you mean the battery's dead?
Dale Denton: ... I mean the battery is dead. It ceases to live. The car needs a battery to start, Saul.
Saul: No no... What do you mean, the battery is dead?
Dale Denton: The battery is f**king dead. I don't know how I can word this to you differently.
 • Movie: Pineapple Express • Rating: Unrated • Permalink

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Saul: Red! You came back! Man, you lied to me. You said you had herpes and Dale said you didn't.
Red: I know Saul. I'm sorry. It's just, after all this, and seeing this guy’s nuts get smashed with my Daewoo, I love you man.
[pause]
Red: I want to be inside you, homes!
 • Movie: Pineapple Express • Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink

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Saul: It's like, if you took that Blue Oyster s**t I gave you last week, and then that crazy African Kush I had that one time.. and they had a baby. And then meanwhile, that crazy Northern Light s**t I had, and that Red s**t I had, made a baby. And by some crazy miracle, those two babies got together, and f**ked... this would be it!
Dale Denton: [smells the marijuana] Oh. Wow. This is the product of baby f**king.
 • Movie: Pineapple Express • Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink

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Saul: BF... FF?
Dale Denton: Best F**kin’ Friends Forever Man!
 • Movie: Pineapple Express • Rating: Unrated • Permalink

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Saul: F**k Jeff Goldblum.
 • Movie: Pineapple Express • Rating: Unrated • Permalink

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Dale Denton: Yeah but if you do bad stuff you're going to come back as something bad like a slug or an anal bead. But if you do something heroic then you'll come back as like an eagle or a dragon, or Jude Law. Now which would you rather be?
Red: The anal bead wouldn't be bad. I mean I guess it would depend on whose anal bead it was.
Dale Denton: It's *my* anal bead.
 • Movie: Pineapple Express • Rating: Unrated • Permalink

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