Jonah Baldwin: If you get a new wife, I guess you'll get to have sex with her, huh?
Sam Baldwin: I certainly hope so.
Jonah Baldwin: Will she scratch up your back?
Sam Baldwin: [shocked] What?
Jonah Baldwin: In the movies, women are always scratching up the men's back and screaming and stuff when they're having sex.
Sam Baldwin: How do you know all this?
Jonah Baldwin: Jed's got cable.
Sam Baldwin: Oh.
 • Movie: Sleepless in Seattle • Rating: Unrated • Permalink

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Sam Baldwin: I'll tell you what I'm doing this weekend, I'm getting laid. It's the 1990's and nobody's getting laid. I'm the only man in America who's getting laid this weekend and I haven't been laid that much. Six girls in college, maybe seven.
[sees Jonah standing in the doorway]
Sam Baldwin: How long have you been standing there?
Jonah Baldwin: Forever.
Sam Baldwin: What did you just hear me say?
Jonah Baldwin: Six girls in college, maybe seven.
Sam Baldwin: Seven... EIGHT! Mary Kelly.
 • Movie: Sleepless in Seattle • Rating: Unrated • Permalink

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Sam Baldwin: [looking at a photograph] She looks like my third grade teacher, and I hated my third grade teacher... wait a minute, she IS my third grade teacher!
 • Movie: Sleepless in Seattle • Rating: Unrated • Permalink

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Sam Baldwin: So, how's my butt?
 • Movie: Sleepless in Seattle • Rating: Unrated • Permalink

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Sam Baldwin: Didn't you see Fatal Attraction?
Jonah Baldwin: You wouldn't let me!
Sam Baldwin: Well I saw it and it scared the s**t out of me. It scared the s**t out of every man in America.
 • Movie: Sleepless in Seattle • Rating: Unrated • Permalink

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Jay: Well, this is fate! She's divorced, we don't want to redo the cabinets, and you need a wife. What do they call it when everything intersects?
Sam Baldwin: The Bermuda Triangle.
 • Movie: Sleepless in Seattle • Rating: Unrated • Permalink

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Jonah Baldwin: Talk to her, dad. She's a doctor.
Sam Baldwin: Of what? Her first name could be Doctor.
 • Movie: Sleepless in Seattle • Rating: Unrated • Permalink

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Doctor Marcia Fieldstone: People who truly loved once are far more likely to love again. Sam, do you think there's someone out there you could love as much as your wife?
Sam Baldwin: Well, Dr. Marcia Fieldstone, that's hard to imagine.
Doctor Marcia Fieldstone: What are you going to do?
Sam Baldwin: Well, I'm gonna get out of bed every morning... breath in and out all day long. Then, after a while I won't have to remind myself to get out of bed every morning and breath in and out... and, then after a while, I won't have to think about how I had it great and perfect for a while.
Doctor Marcia Fieldstone: Tell me what was so special about your wife?
Sam Baldwin: Well, how long is your program? Well, it was a million tiny little things that, when you added them all up, they meant we were suppose to be together... and I knew it. I knew it the very first time I touched her. It was like coming home... only to no home I'd ever known... I was just taking her hand to help her out of a car and I knew. It was like... magic.
 • Movie: Sleepless in Seattle • Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink

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Sam Baldwin: What is "tiramisu"?
Jay: You'll find out.
Sam Baldwin: Well, what is it?
Jay: You'll see!
Sam Baldwin: Some woman is gonna want me to do it to her and I'm not gonna know what it is!
 • Movie: Sleepless in Seattle • Rating: Unrated • Permalink

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