Red: I used to use this little gun when I was a prostitute.
 • Movie: Pineapple Express • Rating: Unrated • Permalink

---

SaulSilver: You still got that bong I got you when I was in Tel Aviv?
Red: Hell yeah, Bong Mitzvah! Hit it up, dude!
 • Movie: Pineapple Express • Rating: Unrated • Permalink

---

Red: I'm trying to decide how stoned I am and just how on the verge of death am I right now. Like, am I seeing s**t because I'm stoned or because I have no blood left in my body?
Dale Denton: Well, you've been shot like seven times.
 • Movie: Pineapple Express • Rating: Unrated • Permalink

---

Red: What the f**k, man? You shot me in my stomach! I'm gonna die now, probably. Man, I had y'all over for dinner! Fish tacos! This is how you do me?
 • Movie: Pineapple Express • Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink

---

Red: Okay, guys, I know I sold y'all out, and I've been a real son of a bitch, and a s**tty friend. Saul, I'm talking to you. Dale, you're a new friend, but, uh, I can make it up, okay? I forgot "bros before hos."
 • Movie: Pineapple Express • Rating: Unrated • Permalink

---

Red: Man, just listen: I would just appreciate it if both y'all would just take your shoes off; I mean, this is brand new carpet, you're tracking mud in here - Matheson, you've got British Knights on. I ain't seen anybody wear them since 1987!
 • Movie: Pineapple Express • Rating: Unrated • Permalink

---

Red: I feel like the nerd at the sleep-over that fell asleep at nine.
 • Movie: Pineapple Express • Rating: Unrated • Permalink

---

Red: I used to use this gun when I was a prostitute.
 • Movie: Pineapple Express • Rating: Unrated • Permalink

---

Saul: Red! You came back! Man, you lied to me. You said you had herpes and Dale said you didn't.
Red: I know Saul. I'm sorry. It's just, after all this, and seeing this guy’s nuts get smashed with my Daewoo, I love you man.
[pause]
Red: I want to be inside you, homes!
 • Movie: Pineapple Express • Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink

---

Red: [points to his armpits] You see this? There's no hair under here!
Dale Denton: What's the significance of that?
Red: It makes me aerodynamic, for fighting!
 • Movie: Pineapple Express • Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink

---