Joanna: So what do you wanna do?Peter Gibbons: First I'm gonna take you out to dinner, and then I'm gonna go back to my apartment and watch kung fu. Do you ever watch kung fu?
Joanna: I love kung fu.
Peter Gibbons: Channel 39.
Joanna: Totally.
Peter Gibbons: You should come over and watch kung fu tonight.
Joanna: Ok. Ok. Can we order lunch first? Ok.
• Movie: Office Space • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Joanna: When did you decide all that?
Peter Gibbons: About an hour ago.
Joanna: An hour ago... so you're gonna get another job?
Peter Gibbons: I don't think I'd like another job.
Joanna: Well, what are you going to do about money and bills and...
Peter Gibbons: You know, I've never really liked paying bills. I don't think I'm gonna do that, either.
• Movie: Office Space • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Joanna: So you're gonna quit?
Peter Gibbons: Nuh-uh. Not really. Uh... I'm just gonna stop going.
• Movie: Office Space • Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink
Joanna: So, where do you work, Peter?
Peter Gibbons: Initech.
Joanna: In... yeah, what do you do there?
Peter Gibbons: I sit in a cubicle and I update bank software for the 2000 switch.
Joanna: What's that?
Peter Gibbons: Well see, they wrote all this bank software, and, uh, to save space, they used two digits instead of four. So, like, 98 instead of 1998? Uh, so I go through these thousands of lines of code and, uh... it doesn't really matter. I, uh, I don't like my job, and, uh, I don't think I'm gonna go anymore.
Joanna: You're just not gonna go?
Peter Gibbons: Yeah.
Joanna: Won't you get fired?
Peter Gibbons: I don't know, but I really don't like it, and, uh, I'm not gonna go.
• Movie: Office Space • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Bob Slydell: Would you bear with me for just a second here.
Peter Gibbons: OK.
Bob Slydell: What if - and believe me this is hypothetical - but what if you were offered some kind of a stock option equity sharing program. Would that do anything for you?
Peter Gibbons: I don't know, I guess. Listen, I'm gonna go. It's been really nice talking to both you guys.
Bob Slydell: Absolutely, the pleasure's all on this side of the table, trust me.
Peter Gibbons: Good luck with your layoffs, all right? I hope your firings go really, really well.
Bob Porter: Excellent.
Bob Slydell: Great... Wow.
• Movie: Office Space • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Peter Gibbons: Before we go any further, all right, we have to swear to God, Allah, that nobody knows about this, all right? No family members, no girlfriends, nobody.
Samir: Of course.
Michael Bolton: Agreed.
Lawrence: [through the wall] Don't worry man. I won't tell anyone either!
Michael Bolton: Who the f**k is that?
Peter Gibbons: Oh, don't worry about him. He's cool.
• Movie: Office Space • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Peter Gibbons: What if we're still doin' this when we're 50?
Samir: It would be nice to have that kind of job security.
Peter Gibbons: Lumbergh's gonna have me work on Saturday. I can tell already. I'm gonna end up doin' it, because, uh... because I'm a big p***y... which is why I work at Initech to begin with.
Michael Bolton: Uh, yeah, well, I work at Initech and I don't consider myself a p***y, OK?
Samir: Yes, I am also not a p***y.
• Movie: Office Space • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Peter Gibbons: Our high school guidance counselor used to ask us what you'd do if you had a million dollars and you didn't have to work. And invariably what you'd say was supposed to be your career. So, if you wanted to fix old cars you're supposed to be an auto mechanic.
Samir: So what did you say?
Peter Gibbons: I never had an answer. I guess that's why I'm working at Initech.
Michael Bolton: No, you're working at Initech because that question is bulls**t to begin with. If everyone listened to her, there'd be no janitors, because no one would clean s**t up if they had a million dollars.
• Movie: Office Space • Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink
Peter Gibbons: You see Bob, it's not that I'm lazy, it's that I just don't care.
Bob Slydell: Don't... don't care?
Peter Gibbons: It's a problem of motivation, all right? Now if I work my ass off and Initech ships a few extra units, I don't see another dime. So where's the motivation? And here's another thing, I have eight different bosses right now.
Bob Porter: Eight?
Peter Gibbons: Eight, Bob. So that means when I make a mistake, I have eight different people coming by to tell me about it. That's my only real motivation is not to be hassled, that, and the fear of losing my job. But you know, Bob, that will only make someone work just hard enough not to get fired.
• Movie: Office Space • Rating: 9.9 / 10 • Permalink
Joanna: How dare you judge me? Look at you. You're just some penny-stealing... criminal... man.
Peter Gibbons: Well that may be. But at least I never slept with Lumbergh.
• Movie: Office Space • Rating: 8.0 / 10 • Permalink
Total Quotes: 32
