Peter Gibbons: Let me ask you something. When you come in on Monday, and you're not feelin' real well, does anyone ever say to you, 'Sounds like someone has a case of the Mondays'?
Lawrence: [pauses] No. No, man. Shit, no, man. I believe you'd get your ass kicked sayin' something like that, man.
 • Movie: Office Space • Rating: 9.5 / 10 • Permalink

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Peter Gibbons: I can't believe what a bunch of nerds we are. We're looking up "money laundering" in the dictionary.
 • Movie: Office Space • Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink

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Michael Bolton: You were supposed to come in Saturday. What were you doing?
Peter Gibbons: Michael, I did nothing. I did absolutely nothing, and it was everything I thought it could be.
 • Movie: Office Space • Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink

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Peter Gibbons: What am I gonna do with 40 subscriptions to Vibe?
 • Movie: Office Space • Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink

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Peter Gibbons: Doesn't it bother you that you have to get up in the morning and you have to put on a bunch of pieces of flair?
Joanna: Yeah, but I'm not about to go in and start taking money from the register.
Peter Gibbons: Well, maybe you should. You know, the Nazis had pieces of flair that they made the Jews wear.
 • Movie: Office Space • Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink

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Peter Gibbons: You're gonna lay off Samir and Michael?
Bob Slydell: Oh yeah, we're bring in some entry-level graduates, farm some work out to Singapore, that's the usual deal.
Bob Porter: Standard operating procedure.
Peter Gibbons: Do they know this yet?
Bob Slydell: No. No, of course not. We find it's always better to fire people on a Friday. Studies have statistically shown that there's less chance of an incident if you do it at the end of the week.
 • Movie: Office Space • Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink

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Bob Porter: Looks like you've been missing a lot of work lately.
Peter Gibbons: Well, I wouldn't exactly say I've been "missing" it, Bob.
 • Movie: Office Space • Rating: 9.7 / 10 • Permalink

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Peter Gibbons: So I was sitting in my cubicle today and I realized, ever since I started working, every single day of my life has been worse than the day before it. So that means that every single day that you see me, that's on the worst day of my life.
Dr. Swanson: What about today? Is today the worst day of your life?
Peter Gibbons: Yeah.
Dr. Swanson: Wow, that's messed up.
 • Movie: Office Space • Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink

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Peter Gibbons: Lawrence, you awake?
Lawrence: Yeah.
Peter Gibbons: You wanna come over?
Lawrence: No, thanks, man. Don't want you f**king up my life, too.
 • Movie: Office Space • Rating: Unrated • Permalink

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Bob Slydell: You see, what we're trying to do is get a feeling for how people spend their time at work so if you would, would you walk us through a typical day, for you?
Peter Gibbons: Yeah.
Bob Slydell: Great.
Peter Gibbons: Well, I generally come in at least fifteen minutes late, ah, I use the side door - that way Lumbergh can't see me, heh - after that I sorta space out for an hour.
Bob Porter: Uhhh. Space out?
Peter Gibbons: Yeah, I just stare at my desk, but it looks like I'm working. I do that for probably another hour after lunch too, I'd say in a given week I probably only do about 15 minutes of real, actual, work.
 • Movie: Office Space • Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink

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