Lester Burnham: You don't think it's kinda weird and fascist?
Carolyn Burnham: Possibly, but you don't want to be unemployed.
Lester Burnham: Oh well, all right, let's all sell our souls and work for Satan because it's more convenient that way.
 • Movie: American Beauty • Rating: Unrated • Permalink

---

Carolyn Burnham: Your father seems to think this type of behavior is something to be proud of.
Lester Burnham: And your mother seems to prefer I go through life like a f**king prisoner while she keeps my d**k in a mason jar under the sink.
 • Movie: American Beauty • Rating: Unrated • Permalink

---

Carolyn Burnham: Your father and I were just discussing his day at work. Why don't you tell our daughter about it, honey?
Lester Burnham: Janie, today I quit my job. And then I told my boss to go f**k himself, and then I blackmailed him for almost sixty thousand dollars. Pass the asparagus.
 • Movie: American Beauty • Rating: Unrated • Permalink

---

Lester Burnham: How's Jane?
Angela Hayes: What do you mean?
Lester Burnham: I mean, how's her life? Is she happy? Is she miserable? I'd really like to know, and she'd die before she'd ever tell me about it.
Angela Hayes: She's... she's really happy. She thinks she's in love.
Lester Burnham: Good for her.
Angela Hayes: How are you?
Lester Burnham: God, it's been a long time since anybody asked me that... I'm great.
 • Movie: American Beauty • Rating: Unrated • Permalink

---

Lester Burnham: This isn't life, it's just stuff. And it's become more important to you than living. Well, honey, that's just nuts.
 • Movie: American Beauty • Rating: Unrated • Permalink

---

Caterer: I'm not paying you to do... whatever it is you're doing out here.
Ricky Fitts: Fine. So don't pay me.
Caterer: Excuse me?
Ricky Fitts: I quit. So you don't have to pay me. Now leave me alone.
Caterer: ...asshole.
Lester Burnham: I think you just became my personal hero!
 • Movie: American Beauty • Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink

---

Lester Burnham: Then I guess I'll have to throw in a sexual harassment charge.
Brad: Against who?
Lester Burnham: Against you. Can you prove that you didn't offer to save my job if I let you blow me?
Brad: Man, you are one twisted f**k.
Lester Burnham: No, Brad. I'm just an ordinary guy with nothing to lose.
 • Movie: American Beauty • Rating: Unrated • Permalink

---

Lester Burnham: Look at me, jerking off in the shower... This will be the high point of my day; it's all downhill from here.
 • Movie: American Beauty • Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink

---

Lester Burnham: I feel like I've been in a coma for the past 20 years. And I'm just now waking up.
 • Movie: American Beauty • Rating: Unrated • Permalink

---

Brad: [reading Lester's job assessment] "My job consists of basically masking my contempt for the assholes in charge, and, at least once a day, retiring to the men's room so I can jerk off while I fantasize about a life that doesn't so closely resemble Hell." Well, you have absolutely no interest in saving yourself.
Lester Burnham: Brad, for 14 years I've been a whore for the advertising industry. The only way I could save myself now is if I start firebombing.
 • Movie: American Beauty • Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink

---