Kirk Lazarus: Alpa and I are already wearin' Earth Mamma's natural night camo.
Alpa Chino: Cool it, Benson!
 • Movie: Tropic Thunder • Rating: Unrated • Permalink

---

Kirk Lazarus: [Alpa reveals he is gay] It's Hollywood, man! Everyone turns gay at some point!
Alpa Chino: I'm not gay! I love tha p***y!
 • Movie: Tropic Thunder • Rating: Unrated • Permalink

---

Kirk Lazarus: Stop tailgatin' me ya pasty teabag! Can I make a peepee?
 • Movie: Tropic Thunder • Rating: Unrated • Permalink

---

Jeff Portnoy: So, what's the plan, man? You gonna talk Vietnamese to those dudes?
Kirk Lazarus: No, no. Mandarin Chinese. What I can tell, it's what they're speaking down there.
Jeff Portnoy: How the hell do you know Chinese?
Kirk Lazarus: Land of Silk and Money with Gong Li. Second Globe, third Oscar. I prepped for that one by working in a Beijing textile factory for eight months.
 • Movie: Tropic Thunder • Rating: Unrated • Permalink

---

Alpa Chino: [watching Tugg reenact Simple Jack] Damn. And I thought the movie was bad.
Kirk Lazarus: Well to give the man credit, he has eased up on the retard a bit.
 • Movie: Tropic Thunder • Rating: Unrated • Permalink

---

Kirk Lazarus: Action Jackson can't cry, that's what's going down.
Tugg Speedman: You know what Kirk, I'm ready to do the scene!
Kirk Lazarus: Now it's time to flip the script! I'm gonna have to wait till Chinese New Year for my man to cry.
 • Movie: Tropic Thunder • Rating: Unrated • Permalink

---

Kirk Lazarus: We wearin' Earth Mamma's natural night camo.
 • Movie: Tropic Thunder • Rating: Unrated • Permalink

---

Kirk Lazarus: Everybody knows you never do a full retard.
Tugg Speedman: What do you mean?
Kirk Lazarus: Check it out. Dustin Hoffman, 'Rain Man,' look retarded, act retarded, not retarded. Count toothpicks to your cards. Autistic, sure. Not retarded. You know Tom Hanks, 'Forrest Gump.' Slow, yes. Retarded, maybe. Braces on his legs. But he charmed the pants off Nixon and won a ping-pong competition. That ain't retarded. You went full retard, man. Never go full retard.
 • Movie: Tropic Thunder • Rating: Unrated • Permalink

---

Kirk Lazarus: Yo asshole! This motha' f**ka's dead. Ain't no Chris Angel Mindfreak, David Blane trapdoor horse s**t jumpin' off here!
 • Movie: Tropic Thunder • Rating: Unrated • Permalink

---

Kirk Lazarus: Same thing happened to me when I played Neil Armstrong in Moonshot. They found me in an alley in Burbank trying to re-enter the earth's atmosphere in an old refrigerator box.
 • Movie: Tropic Thunder • Rating: Unrated • Permalink

---