Judge Smails: How about a Fresca?
 • Movie: Caddyshack • Rating: Unrated • Permalink

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Judge Smails: It's easy to grin / When your ship comes in / And you've got the stock market beat. / But the man worthwhile, / Is the man who can smile, / When his shorts are too tight in the seat.
 • Movie: Caddyshack • Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink

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Judge Smails: Oh Porterhouse, look at the wax build up on these shoes I want that wax stripped off there, then I want them creamed and buffed with a fine chamois, and I want them now. Chop chop.
Smoke Porterhouse: Yes judge, right away judge.
 • Movie: Caddyshack • Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink

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Judge Smails: You know, you should play with Dr. Beeper and myself. I mean, he's been club champion for three years running and I'm no slouch myself.
Ty Webb: Don't sell yourself short Judge, you're a tremendous slouch.
 • Movie: Caddyshack • Rating: Unrated • Permalink

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Tony D'Annunzio: Another Rob Roy, Bishop?
Bishop: You never ask a navy man if he'll have another drink, because it's nobody's goddamned business how much he's had already.
Judge Smails: Wrong, you're drinking too much your Excellency.
Bishop: Excellency, fiddlesticks, my name's Fred and I'm a man, same as you.
Judge Smails: You're not a man, you're a bishop, for God's sakes.
Bishop: There is no God...
 • Movie: Caddyshack • Rating: Unrated • Permalink

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Judge Smails: Danny, I'm having a party this weekend. [pauses a beat] How would you like to come over and mow my lawn?
 • Movie: Caddyshack • Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink

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Judge Smails: Well, we're waiting!
 • Movie: Caddyshack • Rating: 8.7 / 10 • Permalink

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