John Smith: I never went to MIT. Notre Dame. Art history major.
Jane Smith: Art?
John Smith: History! It's reputable.
 • Movie: Mr. & Mrs. Smith • Rating: Unrated • Permalink

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John Smith: I can't believe I brought my real parents to our wedding.
 • Movie: Mr. & Mrs. Smith • Rating: Unrated • Permalink

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John Smith: That's the second time you've tried to kill me today.
Jane Smith: Oh, come on, it was just a little bomb.
 • Movie: Mr. & Mrs. Smith • Rating: Unrated • Permalink

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Jane Smith: Any last words?
John Smith: The new curtains are hideous.
 • Movie: Mr. & Mrs. Smith • Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink

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Jane Smith: Wait, why do I get the girl gun?
John Smith: Are you kidding me?
 • Movie: Mr. & Mrs. Smith • Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink

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John Smith: [hotwiring a neighbor's minivan] He's had my barbecue set for months.
 • Movie: Mr. & Mrs. Smith • Rating: Unrated • Permalink

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Jane Smith: My parents died when I was five. I'm an orphan.
John Smith: Who was that kind fellow who gave you away at our wedding?
Jane Smith: Paid actor.
John Smith: I said, I said I saw your dad on "Fantasy Island"!
 • Movie: Mr. & Mrs. Smith • Rating: Unrated • Permalink

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John Smith: [during a car chase] I never told you, but I was married once before.
Jane Smith: [slams on the brakes]
John Smith: What's wrong with you?
Jane Smith: [hitting John] You're what's wrong with me John.
John Smith: It was just a drunken Vegas thing.
Jane Smith: Oh, that's better. That's *much* better.
[pause]
Jane Smith: What's her name and social security number?
John Smith: No, you're not gonna kill her.
 • Movie: Mr. & Mrs. Smith • Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink

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John Smith: [after his wife checks his crotch for a weapon] That's all John, sweetheart.
 • Movie: Mr. & Mrs. Smith • Rating: Unrated • Permalink

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John Smith: How many? Ok... I'll go first, then. I don't keep exact count, but I'd say, uh, high 50s, low 60s. I mean, I know I've been around the block an all, but...
Jane Smith: 312.
John Smith: What? How?
Jane Smith: Some were two at a time.
 • Movie: Mr. & Mrs. Smith • Rating: Unrated • Permalink

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