Jay: Get offa me. I wanna see what's up. What the f**k is this s**t? Who the f**k are you, lady? Why the f**k did you hug my head?Metatron: Quite a little mouth on him, isn't there?
Jay: What the f**k is this, The Piano? Why ain't this broad talking?
Metatron: I believe the answers that you seek lie within my companion's eyes.
Jay: What the f**k does that mean? Has everyone gone f**kin' nuts? What the f**k happened to that guy's head? I want some...
[God kisses him on the cheek. Jay faints]
• Movie: Dogma • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Bethany: McHenry is pretty far from Jersey, might I ask what brings you guys to Illinois?
Jay: Some f**k named John Hughes.
Bethany: "16 Candles" John Hughes?
Jay: You know him too? That f**king guy.
• Movie: Dogma • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Jay: If today is Tuesday and the movie starts filming on Friday, we have... eight days.
Holden: Uh, three by my count, but close.
Jay: Right. My bad. Three days to stop that f**king movie from getting made. Come on, Silent Bob. We're going to Hollywood!
• Movie: Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Jay: And I can't believe fine-ass bitches like yourselves eat that s**t. Don't you know fast food makes girls fart?
• Movie: Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Jay: I'm gonna finger-bang her tight little asshole / Finger-bang and tea-bag my balls / Where, where, in her mouth / Balls a-plenty in her mouth / Balls Balls Sweaty Balls!!!
• Movie: Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
James Van Der Beek: [about Dawson's Creek] You actually watch that show?
Jay: Yeah, for Joey, man. She is too fine. Did you ever get to third base with her?
James Van Der Beek: Well, actually there was this one time..
• Movie: Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Jay: So all we's gotta do is stop this f**kin' movie from getting made!
Holden: Yeah, and forego the hundreds of thousands of dollars you would be entitled to in the process. What are you, f**king retarded? I mean, I don't think I'm alone in the world in imagining this flick may be the worst idea since Greedo shooting first. You know it, but... a Jay and Silent Bob movie? Feature length? Who'd pay to see that?
• Movie: Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Banky: Well, you're in love. And you've both got your own monkey. What more could two guys from New Jersey want?
Jay: Well, to have all these f**ks stop talking s**t about us on the Internet.
Banky: What've I been telling you? There's nothing you can do about it. Unless you show up at all their houses and beat the s**t out of them.
• Movie: Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Justice: If I go to prison will you wait for me?
Jay: Hmm, I don't know. Will you f**k me when you get out?
• Movie: Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Jay: Think I could get a little blow job for good luck?
Justice: No. Go.
Jay: F**k.
• Movie: Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Total Quotes: 80
