Jay: You know, I hear pregnant women can have sex until their third trimester.Bethany: I'll keep that in mind.
• Movie: Dogma • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Jay: [waking from a dream] I didn't cum on you, Pete, I swear.
• Movie: Dogma • Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink
Jay: Guys like us just don't fall out of the f**king sky, you know.
[Rufus falls out of the sky]
Jay: Beautiful, naked, big-titted women just don't fall out of the sky, you know.
• Movie: Dogma • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Jay: All right, but let's say we're caught in a situation where we've got like five minutes to live, like a bomb or something is gonna go off. Would you f**k us then?
Bethany: In that highly unlikely situation? Yeah, sure.
Jay: She's a slut. Bunnnng.
• Movie: Dogma • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Rufus: You are the great great great great great GREAT great grand-niece ... of Jesus Christ.
Jay: So that would make Bethany... part black?
• Movie: Dogma • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Bethany: What are you doing?
Jay: Proving to this bastard I ain't gay.
Bethany: What?
Rufus: Long story, forget it.
• Movie: Dogma • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Jay: So what's up? You got a friend for Silent Bob, or are you just gonna do us both? If so, I'm first. I hate sloppy seconds.
Bethany: You're a man of principle.
• Movie: Dogma • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Rufus: You know what the dead do with most of their time? They watch the living. Especially in the shower.
Jay: I can't wait to die.
• Movie: Dogma • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Jay: I feel like I'm Han Solo, and you're Chewie, and she's Ben Kenobi, and we're in that f**ked-up bar.
• Movie: Dogma • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Bethany: Then - I don't mean to sound ungrateful - but what are you doing hanging around?
Jay: We're here to pick up chicks.
Bethany: Excuse me?
Jay: We figure an abortion clinic is a good place to meet loose women. Why else would they be there unless they like to f**k?
• Movie: Dogma • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Total Quotes: 80
