Jay: You know, sometimes I wish I did a little more with my life instead of hanging out in front of places selling weed and s**t. Like, maybe be an animal doctor. Why not me? I like seals and s**t. Or maybe an astronaut. Yeah... be the first motherf**ker to see a new galaxy, or find a new alien life form... and f**k it. People would be like, "There he goes. Homeboy f**ked a Martian once." • Movie: Clerks II • Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink
Jay: Yo, you guys are gonna miss this s**t! The big guy's gonna cornhole that ass! With his weiner!
• Movie: Clerks II • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Teen #1: How about a nickel bag?
Jay: Fifteen bucks, lit-tle man. Put that s**t in my hand. Nong nong nonga nonga nong nong.
Teen #1: [to Teen #2] He likes to sing.
• Movie: Clerks II • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Jay: I was taking a piss when I heard the news, congratulations!
• Movie: Clerks II • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Teen #1: You holding?
Jay: Shit, everything except coke, heroin, and your cock!
• Movie: Clerks II • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Elias: F**k Pillowpants! Honk if you love or like p***y!
Jay: [Looks at Silent Bob] Yo, we love p***y!
• Movie: Clerks II • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Jay: That guy's being awfully forward with that donkey.
• Movie: Clerks II • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Jay: Yo man, tell me something about me.
Rufus: You masturbate more than anyone on the planet.
Jay: Aww, f**k, everyone knows that. Tell me something nobody knows.
Rufus: When you do it, you're thinking about guys.
[shocked Silent Bob stares at Jay]
Jay: Dude, not all the time.
• Movie: Dogma • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Jay: I know they were just kids, but we kicked their pube-less asses!
• Movie: Dogma • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Jay: Maybe he's got a message on him, like in Con Air.
Rufus: Aww, man, did that movie suck!
Jay: [hiding behind silent Bob] Kill it, kill it!
Rufus: Con Air, Con Shit!
• Movie: Dogma • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Total Quotes: 80
