Harold: [about to ride cheetah] This is either a really smart move or by far the stupidest thing that we have ever tried. • Movie: Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle • Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink
Harold: So what are you in here for?
Tarik: For being black.
Harold: Seriously.
Tarik: I am serious. You wanna know what happened. I was walking out of a Barnes & Noble, and a cop stops me. Evidently, a black guy robbed a storein Newark. I told him, "I haven't even been to Newark in months." So he starts beating me with his gun, telling me to stop resisting arrest.
Harold: Holy s**t! What'd you do?
Tarik: I kept saying, "I understand I'm under arrest. Now please stop beating me."
Harold: I don't understand how you can be so calm about all this.
Tarik: Look at me. I'm fat, black, can't dance, and I have two gay fathers. People have been messing with me my whole life. I learned a long time ago there's no sense getting all riled up every time a bunch of idiots give you a hard time. In the end, the universe tends to unfold as it should. Plus I have a really large penis. That keeps me happy.
• Movie: Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Harold: Oh, nice. 16 Candles is on, man.
Kumar: And the award for the least heterosexual statement ever made in this apartment goes to... Harold Lee! Come on down, man! Take a bow!
Harold: Shut up, man. It's a classic.
• Movie: Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Burger Shack Employee: You guys might have wanted to stay away from our special sauce tonight. Me and Pookie, we added a secret ingredient. I'll give you a hint. It's semen.
[bursts out laughing]
Harold: [Smirks] Semen.
Burger Shack Employee: Animal semen.
[Harold and Kumar scream and drive off as fast as possible]
• Movie: Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Kumar: Now we're in Newark, of all places. You know we're gonna get shot.
Harold: Maybe it's not as bad as they say. Maybe it's just a bunch of hype.
Kumar: Check it out. Those guys look like a lame version of us.
[2 guys get jumped and beaten with a 2x4 and other weapons]
Harold, Kumar: Holy s**t!
[assailants stop beating up 2 guys, look up and pause, then continue with the assaults while the 2 men lay on the ground moaning]
Harold: Let's get the f**k outta here. Go! Go! Drive! Drive!
• Movie: Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Harold: Dude, we're so high right now!
Kumar: We're not low!
• Movie: Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Harold: [yelling] How is that not the worse news?
Kumar: [calmly] The laptop situation really only affects you, whereas the White Castle situation affects us both equally.
• Movie: Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Kumar: Do you know what the hell we had to go through after you took the car?
Neil Patrick Harris: Yeah, it was a d**k move on my part. That's why I'm paying for your meal.
Neil Patrick Harris: [looks down to count money] Here's 80 for the meal, and 200 for the car
Harold: What did you do to my car?
Neil Patrick Harris: I made some love stains in the back. You'll see...
• Movie: Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Harold: Did Doogie Houser just steal my f**king car?
• Movie: Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Harold: I want that.
Kumar: What? A Hot Dog Heaven super chili cheese dog?
Harold: No. I want that feeling. The feeling that comes over a man when he gets exactly what he desires. I need that feeling!
Kumar: Are you saying what I think you're saying?
Harold: We gotta go to White Castle.
Kumar: YES! YES! I knew you had it in you dude!
• Movie: Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Total Quotes: 23
