Kumar Patel: In eight hours we are going to be in Amersterdam.Harold Lee: This is amazing.
Kumar Patel: I know dude, it's going to be exactly like Eurotrip except its not going to suck.
• Movie: Harold & Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Harold: Officer, I'm glad you're here. You ever heard of that show, Doogie Houser, MD?
Officer Palumbo: Yeah, what great show. Doogie.
Harold: Neil Patrick Harris just stole my car.
Officer Palumbo: Hey! NPH wouldn't do that, 'ight!
• Movie: Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle • Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink
Harold: [awakening from dream after being hit on head] What the hell are you doing? Gawd!
Kumar: You been out cold for the past half an hour. I figured maybe if I did some gay s**t, you'd wake up.
Harold: If you did some gay s**t? What kinda - where are we? Didn't we come here on a cheetah? Where's the cheetah?
Kumar: It ran away. Listen, forget about the cheetah, okay?
• Movie: Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Freakshow: What the hell are you doing with my wife?
Harold: Y-you said outside that we could have sex with her!
Kumar: Shit! Shit!
Freakshow: I most certainly did not!
Harold: Yes you did!
Freakshow: Did not!
Kumar: Yes you did!
Freakshow: Oh, no, I didn't.
Kumar: You did, you did.
Freakshow: You sure...?
Harold: You said it!
Freakshow: [laughing] My mistake! Well, since we're all here... How 'bout a four-some?
• Movie: Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Kumar: I forgot my cell phone.
Harold: You wanna run back and get it?
[both turn and look at their front door 20 feet from them]
Kumar: No, we've gone too far.
• Movie: Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Harold: Back off c**kboy, what I said him goes double for you.
J.D.: C**kboy, you just call me c**kboy?
Harold: Yeah, you know I did. You're just stalling cuz you're not quick enough to think of a comeback.
J.D.: You think I'm not quick enough. Guy thinks I'm not quick enough. Well I got news for you. I am quick enough!... C**kboy!
• Movie: Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Harold: I am so hungry. I'm gonna eat, like, 20 of those burgers, man.
Kumar: Dude, f**kin' I will see your 20 burgers and raise you 5 orders of fries.
• Movie: Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Harold: I want 30 sliders, 5 french fries, and 4 large cherry cokes.
Kumar: I want the same except make mine diet cokes.
• Movie: Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Harold: [riding a cheetah] Dude, am I really high, or is this actually working?
Kumar: Both.
• Movie: Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Harold: Neil, you wouldn't happen to know how to get on the highway from here, would you?
Neil Patrick Harris: Dude, I don't even know where the f**k I am right now. I was at this party earlier tonight and some guy hooked me up with this incredible "X" - next thing I know I'm being thrown out of a moving car. I've been trippin' balls ever since.
Kumar: That's crazy, dude. We've been having a pretty crazy, night, too. We've just been driving around looking for White Castle but we keep getting sidetracked.
Neil Patrick Harris: Yeah, dude, you fascinate me. Forget White Castle, let's go get some p***y!
Harold: Huh?
Neil Patrick Harris: It's a f**king sausage fest in here, bros. Let's get some poontang, THEN we'll go to White Castle.
Kumar: No, Neil, you don't understand. We've been craving these burgers all night.
Neil Patrick Harris: Yeah, I've been craving burgers, too. Furburgers. Come on, dudes, let's pick up some trim at a strip club. The Doogie line always works on strippers.
[sings]
Neil Patrick Harris: Lapdance...
Kumar: [pause] There's a gas station. I'm gonaa see if I can get some directions.
Neil Patrick Harris: You don't need dir- gah! Hurry up, dudes, hurry up! I'm losing wood.
[they park, pause]
Neil Patrick Harris: Hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry...
Kumar: Look, chill.
Harold: We'll be right back, Neil.
[they exit the car]
Harold: Dude, what is the deal with Neil Patrick Harris? Why is he so horny?
• Movie: Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Total Quotes: 23