Earl Bassett: [digging out the dead graboid] There's no way Walter Chang's getting his slick mitts on this for no 15 bucks.Valentine McKee: You got that right!
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Earl Bassett: So we're stuck here. That pisses me off.
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Earl Bassett: Melvin! One of these days someone's gonna kick your ass!
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Earl Bassett: Here's the plan. We don't even stop. Ride like hell. Tonight we keep right on going. We'll walk the horses.
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Earl Bassett: Y'know, that's a good way to break an axle.
Valentine McKee: Could you shut up?
Earl Bassett: Hey, I don't need to spend the night out here!
Valentine McKee: [pause] Crybaby.
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Earl Bassett: You little asswipe! You don't knock it off you're gonna be s**ttin' this basketball... pardon my French!
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Earl Bassett: AHHH! AHHH!
Valentine McKee: What? What is it?
Earl Bassett: Damn prairie dog burrow.
Valentine McKee: Sons a bitches.
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Valentine McKee: They're mutations caused by radiation. No, wait; the government made 'em. Big surprise for the Russians.
Rhonda LeBeck: Well, there's nothing like them in the fossil record... Okay, so they predate the fossil record. [pauses] That'd make them a couple of billion years old... and we've just never seen one until now. Right.
Earl Bassett: I vote for outer space. No way these are local boys.
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Earl Bassett: Stupid son-of-a-bitch, knocked itself cold!
Valentine McKee: Cold, my ass, he's dead! We killed it. We killed it! F**k you!
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Earl Bassett: Pardon my French!
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Total Quotes: 27