Donkey: Man, you gotta warn somebody before you crack one like that. My mouth was open and everything.Shrek: Donkey, if that was me, you'd be dead. That's brimstone... we must be getting close
Donkey: Yeah, right, brimstone, don't be talking about no brimstone. I know what I smelt and it wasn't no brimstone and it didn't come off no stone neither.
• Movie: Shrek • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Shrek: Ogres are like onions.
Donkey: They stink?
Shrek: Yes. No.
Donkey: Oh, they make you cry.
Shrek: No.
Donkey: Oh, you leave em out in the sun, they get all brown, start sproutin' little white hairs.
Shrek: NO. Layers. Onions have layers. Ogres have layers. Onions have layers. You get it? We both have layers.
Donkey: Oh, you both have layers. Oh. You know, not everybody like onions.
• Movie: Shrek • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Donkey: Okay, let me get this straight: you gonna go fight a dragon and rescue a princess just so Farquaad'll give you back your swamp, which you only don't have 'cos he filled it full of freaks in the first place, is that about right?
• Movie: Shrek • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Donkey: I just know, before this is over, I'm gonna need a whole lot of serious therapy. Look at my eye twitchin'.
• Movie: Shrek • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Donkey: This'll be fun. We'll stay up late, swapping manly stories, and in the morning... I'm making waffles.
• Movie: Shrek • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Donkey: Can I stay with you? Please?
Shrek: Of course.
Donkey: Really?
Shrek: NO.
Donkey: Please. I don't wanna go back there. You don't know what it's like to be considered a freak... Well, maybe you do, but that's why we gotta stick together. You gotta let me stay!
• Movie: Shrek • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Donkey: You, uh... you don't entertain much, do you?
Shrek: I like my privacy.
Donkey: Y'know, me too. That's another thing we have in common. I hate it when you've got someone in your face, you try to give someone a hint and they won't leave, and then there's that big awkward silence...
[big awkward silence ensues]
Donkey: ... Can I stay with you?
• Movie: Shrek • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Donkey: Whoa. Look at that. Who'd wanna live in a place like that?
Shrek: That would be my home.
Donkey: Oh and it is LOVELY. You know, you're really quite a decorator. It's amazing what you've done with such a modest budget. I like that boulder. That is a NICE boulder.
• Movie: Shrek • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Shrek: Well it's no wonder you don't have any friends.
The Donkey: Wow, only a true friend would be that truely honest.
• Movie: Shrek • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Donkey: And then one time I ate some rotten berries. Man, there were some strong gases seepin' outta my butt that day!
• Movie: Shrek • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Total Quotes: 42
