Donkey: I say we take the sword and neuter him right here! Give him the Bob Barker treatment! • Movie: Shrek 2 • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Shrek: Donkey, think of the saddest thing that's ever happened to you.
Donkey: Oh, man! Where do I begin? First there was the time the farmer traded me for some magic beans. I ain't never gotten over that. Then this fool went off and had a party, and they all starting trying to pin a tail on me. Then they all got drunk, and started hitting me with sticks, yelling "Piñata! Piñata!" What the hell is a piñata, anyway?
• Movie: Shrek 2 • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Donkey: Wat about my Miranda rights?You're supposed to say "You have the right to remain silent!". Nobody said I have the right to remain silent!
Shrek: Donkey, you HAVE the right to remain silent. What you lack, is the capacity.
• Movie: Shrek 2 • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Donkey: [to Puss-in-Boots] I'm sorry, the position of annoying talking animal has already been filled.
• Movie: Shrek 2 • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
[after drinking a beauty potion]
Donkey: I don't *feel* any different. Do I look any different?
Puss-in-Boots: You still look like an ass to me!
• Movie: Shrek 2 • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Donkey: Oh, Shrek. Don't worry. Things just seem bad because it's dark and rainy and Fiona's father hired a sleazy hitman to whack you.
• Movie: Shrek 2 • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Princess Fiona: Shrek's hurt.
The Donkey: What? Shrek's hurt? Oh, no, Shrek's gonna die!
Shrek: Donkey, I'm fine.
The Donkey: You can't die on me, Shrek! I'm too young for you to die! Keep your feet elevated! Turn your head and cough! Does anybody know the Heimlich?
• Movie: Shrek • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Princess Fiona: [as ogre] Donkey, shh, shh. It's me... in this body.
Donkey: [gasps] Oh, my God, you ate the princess!
• Movie: Shrek • Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink
Donkey: Wait a minute, I know what's going on. You're afraid of the dark.
Princess Fiona: Why... yes!
Donkey: Don't worry, princess. I used to be afraid of the dark until... No, wait. I'm still afraid of the dark.
• Movie: Shrek • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Donkey: You love this woman, don't ya?
Shrek: Yes.
Donkey: Do you wanna hold her?
Shrek: Yes.
Donkey: Please her?
Shrek: Yes.
Donkey: Then ya gotta, gotta try a little tenderness! Chicks love that romantic crap.
• Movie: Shrek • Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink
Total Quotes: 42
