Saul: Man, why'd we have to go to the woods?
Dale Denton: Well you didn't come up with any ideas!
Saul: Yeah, I came up with two! Nowhere and Quizno's.
 • Movie: Pineapple Express • Rating: Unrated • Permalink

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Saul: No... I see. The monkey's out of the bottle now!
Dale Denton: What? That's not even.. a figure of speech.
Saul: Pandora can't go back into the box, he only comes out.
 • Movie: Pineapple Express • Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink

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Saul: How about in the park, when I said you were my friend... you didn't say anything back.
Dale Denton: Well, that's easy. It's because we're not friend. You are my drug dealer, the only reason I know you is because I like the drugs you sell. If you didn't sell drugs, I would have no idea who you are, and I wouldn't be here right now. I would be fantastic!
 • Movie: Pineapple Express • Rating: Unrated • Permalink

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Dale Denton: I'm chill as a cucumber.
 • Movie: Pineapple Express • Rating: Unrated • Permalink

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Police Liaison Officer: What the hell is that? What the hell is that?
Dale Denton: Oh, oh, it's a roach. It's a joint. I have anorexia. Honest I thought it was decriminalized.
Police Liaison Officer: Selling drugs to minors has *not* been decriminalized. I'm the police liaison officer with this school and I just saw a bunch of my kids comin' around the corner with their eyes as red as the devil's d**k!
 • Movie: Pineapple Express • Rating: Unrated • Permalink

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Saul: Wait...what do you mean the battery's dead?
Dale Denton: ... I mean the battery is dead. It ceases to live. The car needs a battery to start, Saul.
Saul: No no... What do you mean, the battery is dead?
Dale Denton: The battery is f**king dead. I don't know how I can word this to you differently.
 • Movie: Pineapple Express • Rating: Unrated • Permalink

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Saul: It's like, if you took that Blue Oyster s**t I gave you last week, and then that crazy African Kush I had that one time.. and they had a baby. And then meanwhile, that crazy Northern Light s**t I had, and that Red s**t I had, made a baby. And by some crazy miracle, those two babies got together, and f**ked... this would be it!
Dale Denton: [smells the marijuana] Oh. Wow. This is the product of baby f**king.
 • Movie: Pineapple Express • Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink

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Angie Anderson: F**k you Dale. I lost my virginity when I was fourteen, okay? How many women have you even slept with?
Dale Denton: Like two and a half.
Angie Anderson: Two and a half? What the f**k does that mean? Your hand doesn't count.
 • Movie: Pineapple Express • Rating: Unrated • Permalink

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Saul: BF... FF?
Dale Denton: Best F**kin’ Friends Forever Man!
 • Movie: Pineapple Express • Rating: Unrated • Permalink

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Red: [points to his armpits] You see this? There's no hair under here!
Dale Denton: What's the significance of that?
Red: It makes me aerodynamic, for fighting!
 • Movie: Pineapple Express • Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink

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