Carl Spackler: He's on his final hole. He's about 455 yards away, he's gonna hit about a 2 iron I think.
 • Movie: Caddyshack • Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink

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Sandy: Carl I want you to kill all the gophers on the golf course
Carl Spackler: Correct me if I'm wrong Sandy, but if I kill all the golfers they'll lock me up and throw away the key.
Sandy: Not golfers, you great fool. Gophers. The *little* *brown*, *furry* *rodents*.
Carl Spackler: We can do that. We don't even need a reason.
 • Movie: Caddyshack • Rating: 8.0 / 10 • Permalink

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Carl Spackler: Wait up, girls; I got a salami I gotta hide still.
 • Movie: Caddyshack • Rating: Unrated • Permalink

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Carl Spackler: I have to laugh, because I've outsmarted even myself. My enemy, my foe, is an animal. In order to conquer the animal, I have to learn to think like an animal. And, whenever possible, to look like one. I've gotta get inside this guy's pelt and crawl around for a few days.
 • Movie: Caddyshack • Rating: Unrated • Permalink

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Carl Spackler: This place got a pool?
Ty Webb: Pool and a pond... Pond be good for you.
 • Movie: Caddyshack • Rating: 8.0 / 10 • Permalink

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