Bruce: What up with thee.
 • Movie: Bruce Almighty • Rating: Unrated • Permalink

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Bruce: What if I need you? What if I have questions?
God: That's your problem, Bruce. That's everybody's problem. You keep looking up.
 • Movie: Bruce Almighty • Rating: Unrated • Permalink

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Grace: You know that everything happens for a reason.
Bruce: See, that I don't need. That is a cliché. That is not helpful to me. "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush"... I have no bird, I have no bush. God has taken my bird and my bush.
 • Movie: Bruce Almighty • Rating: Unrated • Permalink

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Bruce: God is a mean kid sitting on an anthill with a magnifying glass, and I'm the ant. He could fix my life in five minutes if He wanted to, but he'd rather burn off my feelers and watch me squirm.
 • Movie: Bruce Almighty • Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink

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Bruce: So you're the janitor, electrician, the boss. Must be one hell of a Christmas party... don't get drunk though, one of you may need a ride home
[laughing]
God: [laughing] You've always had a sense of humor, Bruce, just like your father.
 • Movie: Bruce Almighty • Rating: Unrated • Permalink

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God: Bruce, you have a divine spark. You have a gift for bringing joy and laughter to the world. I know, I created you.
Bruce: Quit bragging.
 • Movie: Bruce Almighty • Rating: Unrated • Permalink

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Bruce: Where are you going?
God: I'm taking a vacation.
Bruce: God doesn't take vacations. Does he?... Do... ye?
God: Did you ever hear of the dark ages? Besides, I'm covered. You can clear everything up in five minutes, if you want to. Right?
 • Movie: Bruce Almighty • Rating: Unrated • Permalink

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Bruce: Bruce giveth and Bruce taketh away. Don't like it? Megabyte me.
 • Movie: Bruce Almighty • Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink

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Bruce: Hey, little anal-dwelling butt monkey. Time for you to go home, little buddy.
 • Movie: Bruce Almighty • Rating: Unrated • Permalink

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Grace: Debbie won the lottery.
Bruce: Oh, yeah? You're kidding.
Grace: But I guess so did 400,000 other people, so she only won, like, $17.
 • Movie: Bruce Almighty • Rating: Unrated • Permalink

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