T.S. Quint: [Reading the break-up letter that Renee gave Brodie] Woah, she calls you "callow" in here.Brodie: You say that like it's bad.
T.S. Quint: It means frightened and weak-willed.
Brodie: Really? Shit. That was the only part of the letter I thought was complimentary.
• Movie: Mallrats • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Brodie: You know about this game show they got goin' on here? We need you guys to somehow ensure that it doesn't happen.
Jay: Is that it? We were gonna do that anyway.
Brodie: Really? Why?
Jay: What else are we gonna do?
• Movie: Mallrats • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Jay: You're f**king kidding me! The Easter bunny did this?
Brodie: All I said was that the Easter bunny at the Menlo Park mall was more convincing and he just jumped the railing and knocked me down.
Jay: He's f**king dead!
Brodie: Oh let it go, he's under a lot of pressure.
[T.S. and Gwen approach them]
T.S. Quint: What the hell happened?
Jay: The guy in the Easter bunny suit kicked his ass.
Brodie: I had it coming.
Jay: [to Silent Bob] F**k all that s**t. Come on, Silent Bob.
[Jay and Silent Bob leave]
T.S. Quint: What really happened?
Brodie: The proprietor of Fashionable Male beat a raincheck into my stomach.
Gwen: Shannon Hamilton?
T.S. Quint: You know that guy?
Gwen: I went out with him once after we dated. He tried to screw me some place very uncomfortable.
T.S. Quint: What? Like the back of a Volkswagen?
Brodie: Sounds like his M.O.
• Movie: Mallrats • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Brodie: Come on, this is the dirt mall. Cops don't come here.
T.S. Quint: Neither does any self-respecting consumer.
• Movie: Mallrats • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Shannon Hamilton: Smart-ass ex-boyfriend! I've got two things to tell you. One: I don't like you. I see you every week in this mall. I don't like you shiftless layabouts. You're one of those f**king mallrat kids. You don't come to the mall to shop or work. You hang out and act like you f**king live here. Well, I have no respect for people with no shopping agenda.
Brodie: Is this what's known as motivated salesmanship?
[Shannon Hamilton beats up Brodie]
Shannon Hamilton: Rene told me to leave you alone, but she's f**king clueless. The newly single always feel a bit protective of the ex-boyfriend.
Brodie: If this is her idea of protective, I'd hate to have her mad at me.
Shannon Hamilton: You see, Bruce, I like to pick up girls on the rebound from a disappointing relationship. They're much more in need of solace and they're fairly open to suggestion. And, I use that to f**k them some place very uncomfortable.
Brodie: What, like the back of a Volkswagen?
• Movie: Mallrats • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
[Silent Bob is trying to levitate a cigarette]
T.S. Quint: What's he doing?
Jay: Shithead here watched Empire and Jedi last week and ever since then, he's been trying to do the Jedi mind trick. The crazy f**k thinks he can levitate s**t with his thoughts.
[slaps the cigarette out of Silent Bob's hand]
Jay: Knock it off.
Brodie: [to Silent Bob] The force is strong with this one.
Jay: Dude, don't encourage him.
• Movie: Mallrats • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
[about the break-up letter from Renee]
Brodie: Yeah, and she also said I had no d**k. Which precedes the financial question, proving once more what women really look for.
• Movie: Mallrats • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Brodie: Most of the time I'm just talking out of my ass - or sticking my hand in it.
• Movie: Mallrats • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Tricia Jones: I heard that you were going to propose to Brandi Svenning at some theme park. When are men going to learn that women want ROMANCE, not Mr. Toad's Wild Ride...
Brodie: Hey, now, be fair. EVERYONE wants Mr. Toad's Wild Ride.
• Movie: Mallrats • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
T.S. Quint: I was going to propose to her.
Brodie: Where?
T.S. Quint: The Universal Tour.
Brodie: You're kidding. What part?
T.S. Quint: When Jaws popped out of the water.
Brodie: That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard.
T.S. Quint: Too bad I'm not trying to marry you.
• Movie: Mallrats • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Total Quotes: 38